The EADJ Pun Police: S1W Edition

"Ten, HUT!"

[Formation 1, turn, Assemblage 7]

"Turn!"

[Assemblage 7 converts to Formation 3A]

"At ease! No justice, no peace!"

[Formation 3A at-ease mode]

"'Pasture Bedtime?' Nonsensical context! Delta 7A fold! Fold!"

[Formation 3A becomes Delta 7A attack mode; S1Ws destroy night shirt under boot heels]

"Halt! Due East at bus stop! Submission by Barry F!"

"All Yolks Aside. That actually means the opposite of what that faceless corporation wants to say. Is there egg in this MC Muffin or not? Delta P!"

[S1Ws deliver the dreaded Delta P maneuver, which renders the bus stop ad illegible and in flames]

"Phones out!" "Phones out!"

"Sole is not soul. There are soul mates. There are no sole mates. How do you sell soul to a soulless people who sold their soul to soles? Gamma TEN!"

[S1Ws perform the rare Gamma 10 anti-commercialism maneuver. This erases the Nike Corporation from the Fortune 500 and sends a box of buffalo turds to Phil Knight's home address.]

"Make everybody see- not sea- in order to fight the powers that be! Truncheons out!"

[S1Ws mercilessly beat seal sign to a pulp with their military-style truncheons.]

"'A Lot of Cars.' Stupid. Not worth it. Bypass!"

[S1Ws ignore it.]

"Sip, Sip, Hooray!? Probably not a Naughty By Nature reference. Deploy Sigma 88 sweep anyway!"

[S1Ws stand back to back, then do the Sigma 88 sweep, making the vinyl banner dissolve in a strong but environmentally-safe acid.]

"Release the Quackin?! RELEASE THE MEGABLAST!"

[S1Ws march around the ad 5 times but it does nothing.]

"HOLD! Due northeast! Reassemble vector 8E!"

[S1Ws hurry over to a Shrek: The Musical ad.]

"This Shrek Musical has had a prior record of awful punnage. This counts as strike two. Engage in Destroyer Formation 55:28, Priority Zero!"

[S1Ws create a T-shaped formation, march around with their fists on each other's shoulders, carry Flavor Flav offstage and relax in the Green Room.]

"Lean Somewhere Else, Jagoff."

Pictured above, J'Net attempts to pay for a parking space around some dude who's cold cold lampin'.

Meanwhile In Jersey

I'm Not Exactly Sure Why This Made Me Laugh

But it did.

Street.

Pictured above, a leather jacket for someone who either roots for teams from Philadelphia or supermarkets in the southeast United States.

A Monday Morning What-The-Poo-Poo

Enjoy this week's Monday Morning What-The-Poo-Poo!

Plus, I think that was a "labia menorah" joke.

As Promised!

Here is the utterly unmatched (and unfortunately uncredited) performance of Exterminator 1 from "Maybe I'll Come Home In The Spring," last week's entry in the EADJ Crappinema:



Exterminator 1: "I don't understand the world anymore. I mean, I used to understand the world, b...but I don't anymore. I can't understand a world where people just come up and they steal exterminator trucks. I...I don't understand it. I'm going home. I'm going home."

Exterminator 1 eventually went on to become a world famous DJ for rap group Public Enemy.

EDITOR'S NOTE: True MICHITS fans will be happy to know that the real location in this classic cinematic scene is still intact decades later.