Double Take

A sign in Union, NJ:

I've been on computers so much that I first thought this sign said "Access Denial".

If you thought the same thing, we probably talk to each other on reddit.

Gourd God: The Latest NJ Transit Survey Brochure

I got on the NJ Transit train the other morning and came across these flyers:

Festive and autumnal, no? Then I saw the arrangement of the pumpkins and gourds and realized it's a pale ghost of our beloved old stock people from the 2013 survey brochure.

Here now is a perfunctory comparison chart between the two:

Forbidden Conversation Topics When You Go Pumpkin Picking

It's that time of the year again- to go with your loved ones to the local farm and pick out pumpkins for decoration or cooking. Of course, after you get there, it gets pretty boring in that field and you'll want to start a conversation. For when you do, here are some topics you SHOULD NOT bring up during your trip to that patch:

• Your 12 miscarriages

• How lazy black people are

• Your shitty podcast

• AIDS

• How iTunes ruined the music business

• The animation style of "Star Wars Rebels" vs. "Star Wars: The Clone Wars"

• Deadly vermin found in pumpkin patches

• The old horror movie "Basket Case"

• People you've murdered and buried in this pumpkin patch

• How lazy Mexicans are

• How your "gaydar" has improved lately

• Hey, remember Michele Bachmann?

• Why your penis curves

• Christmas

Dumb YouTube Comment O' The Fortnight: Two-Fer

From the YouTube page featuring John Lennon's video for "Imagine," a comment by 22-year old pumpernickles13:

"this song is beautiful because he is describing heaven."


and one from the more articulate johnrobinsonh:

"What are we really supposed to "imagine"? That the world will live as one?
Do you have any idea how many people in the world there are?
There are over 240,000.000 people living in Indonesia - the most populist Muslim country.
Should we imagine that all 240 million Muslims in Indonesia should be welcomed to live as one in Manhattan with John and Yoko and we're supposed to imagine there are no religions and all these folks are going to live in peace with us?
What %*#$(%# idiots!"

Burned By Dunkin Donuts AGAIN.

Some of you readers might remember an earlier entry (remember, who am I kidding?) where the wife and I had breakfast at Dunkin Donuts and got burned by their shitty service/food. Well, I got burned by their advertising this time and got a belly full o' nuthin out of it.


Saturday morning, I ordered one of their "Wake-Up Wraps," because I wanted to wake up and eat something as close to a Meximelt as possible. "One o' them Wake-Up Wraps, please!" So ten minutes later, the English-as-a-second-language student brought out what looked like an empty tray. But it wasn't.





I know I mumbled something about never eating there again, but both J'Net and I know that's not the case; it's the only place to eat breakfast before the on-ramp to 278 West to Jersey. So for now I pound my fist at you, Dunkin Donuts! Till we meet again, my breakfast chain nemesis!