The Infection Spreads More.

Editor's note: This post is a sequel to a 2009 entry.

Patient Zero of the infection was this lady from December 2008:

Years later, several new cases have been spotted in NY and NJ:

Stock up on water and canned goods. This is fucking terrifying.

25 Days of Hallmark Movies: Day 9: "With Love, Christmas" Starring Emilie Ullerup and Aaron O'Connell

Whoa. There are two main takeaways from this one: 1) Even amongst Hallmark Christmas movies, there's a line to how many decorations you should put in scenes. This movie crosses that line and seems to fill every ashtray, urinal and tracheotomy stoma opening with some sort of decorative bauble or trinket. 2) Hollywood will never, ever, ever understand the business of advertising in a trillion years.

Plot summary: "Ad executive Melanie is teamed up with uptight coworker Donovan to come up with the ultimate Christmas commercial for a new cell phone. To complicate matters, Donovan is also Melanie's Secret Santa recipient in the annual office gift exchange. Keeping her identity secret, Melanie sends him emails from "Santa" to determine the perfect gift for him. When Donovan mistakenly assumes another co-worker is his Secret Santa, Melanie must work to show Donovan that she’s the only Santa for him."

Romance Factor: 9 out of 10

Christmas Cheer: 7 out of 10

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10

Time Until First Kiss: 1:23:00

Let's Deny The Right To Vote To The EADJ Mail Sack!

Submiited by Megan Gall (via Andrew in a text):

"Megan found the worst office art ever."

Overheard Outside the Whitney Museum of Modern Art

"Hey, you like art? You paying big bucks to look at the art in theah? Well, look at this art, right heah. You can take this shit home right now. Not like them Picassos and Rembrandts and shit. You can take one o' these African masks or whatever and hang that shit on your wall tonight, son.

"You don't like the scary voodoo masks? Well, check this shit out, then: authentic African shields! You can hang this on your wall, or lay it out on your table. Hell, you can even use it like a real shield when you're in the middle of a riot when the Mets win and shit.

"Yeah, I know. I'm peddling historical replicas of a very specific culture outside essentially a modern art museum that focuses more on contemporary art from their private collections in small, focused galleries. But fuck it, you know?"

Dumb YouTube CommentS O' The Fortnight!

From the very popular YouTube page featuring the now-famous Susan Boyle on "Britain's Got Talent," a snarky comment by Fabio2324:

"OMG she is so hot can't wait to see her in 100 hottest women of 2009 :D"


Which is weird, because on his profile page he wrote this:
I love music a lot, it keeps me alive...

once in a while mother nature throws different humans being on our planet earth some of them have unique abilities and super human physique. Many will call it a freak of a nature I would call it the wolf effect

╔══╗♫
║██║
║ O ║♥ music is my life
╚══╝

And a brief comment from 3ricjohnson:

nigga please

Can a Window Display Change Your Life?

I was about to just caption this "A Window Display Found In Brooklyn," but after a second look, I came to realize how utterly genius this seemingly random arrangement of disparate objects this is.

It is essentially a Neo-Dadaist masterpiece, an installation that is not simply an act by the artist alone– the spectator on the sidewalk brings the interpretation of the piece out in to the world by deciphering and interpreting its inner qualifications and thus adds their contribution to the creative act.

But the piece transcends Dadasim, too, thereby rebelling against rebellion. It overlaps into Abstract Expressionism and Pop Art with its use of found objects, corporate logos, innovative combinations and surprise, eschewing the traditional, methodical creation of art.


What is the meaning of the ParaSpa between the legs of the walker, and behind the erotic single stockinged mannequin leg? Is this "A Christmas Story" tribute? Why is there a beanie baby of a dog lying on the seat? Seriously, what the fuck piss is going on there?

Maddening. Brilliant. Erotic. Stultifying. Stink-a-rooni.

Let's Stretch the Lips of the Ol' EADJ Mail Sack!

(the following is from an email from a "Patrick Chan," labeled READ AND GET BACK TO ME)

------------------

MR. PATRICK CHAN
HANG SENG BANK LTD.
83, Des Voeux Road,
Central HK,Hong Kong.


patrickchan20007hk@yahoo.com.hk


Good Day,

Let me start by introducing myself.i am Mr Patrick K.W Chan Executive Director and Chief Financial Officer of the Hang Seng Bank Ltd Hong Kong.l have a secured business proposal for you.

Before the U.S and Iraqi war our client Col. Hosam Hassan who was with the Iraqi forces and also business man made a numbered fixed deposit for 18 calendar months, with a value of Thirty Million United State Dollars ($30,000,000.00) only in my branch.Upon maturity several notices was sent to him, even during the war which began in 2003. Again after the war another notification was sent and still no response came from him. We later find out that Col. Hosam Hassan along with his wife and the only daughter had been killed during the war in a bomb blast that hit their home.

After further investigation it was also discovered that our client Col.Hosam Hassan did not declare any next of kin in his official papers including the paper work of his bank deposit.

Against this backdrop,my suggestion to you is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand as the next of kin to Col.Hosam Hassan so that you will be able to receive his funds.

Once the funds have been transferred to your nominated bank account we shall then share in the ratio of 60% for me, 40% for you.Should you be interested please send me your,

1. Full names
2. Private phone number
3. Current residential address.

I will prefer you reach me on my private email address below And finally after that i shall provide you with more details of this transaction.

Your earliest response to this letter will be highly appreciated.


patrickchan20007hk@yahoo.com.hk

Kind Regards,
Mr.Patrick Chan.



Exercise your brain! Try Flexicon.

-----------------------------



I find it interesting that after all the urgency of rescuing Col. Hosam Hassan's $30,000,000, the banker Mr. Patrick Chan wants to also put a bug in my ear about Flexicon. I decided to respond to Mr. Chan's missive with this:




Dear Mr. Patrick Chan,

............../´¯/).............(\¯`\
............/....//..............\\....\
.........../....//................\\....\
...../´¯/..../´¯\............../¯`\....\¯`\
.././.../..../..../.|_......_|.\....\....\...\.\..
(.(....(....(..../..)..).....(..(.\....)....)....).)
.\................\/.../....\...\/................/
..\.................. /........\................../
....\................(............)............../
......\..............\.........../............./


Maturely yours,
Joel Thomas

p.s. Didn't we kick your ass in WWII?

(pictured above, The Unfortunate Tagline of the Month. The Chicago Transit Authority tagline tries to encourage people to consider riding more often, but instead suggests a brutal rape)