An Ad on Facebook

A reminder, bonsai trees are known to be small. Something to think about before showing up at the club in a pair of those. Also, Japanese men might try to approach you with tiny clippers out of habit.

DISASTER HAS STRUCK

You  know how we always brag about never missing a single weekday entry in EADJ's six year history, including holidays?

Well, we finally missed one: Memorial Day. Monday, May 28, 2012. Shit.

Not to make excuses, but this reporter had to go into work that day because some shithead scheduled a new business pitch on that Tuesday. So instead of relaxing and throwing in a lazy blog entry (most likely an Ugly Andrew Gall), I was working from 10am-11pm on some shitty presentation, and it never crossed my mind to post something. Anything.

THANKS, WORK, FOR FUCKING UP OUR PERFECT RECORD.

New York City, The Most Exciting City In the World.

Pictured above, I present to you an abandoned, undersized Swiffer.

It's Just Lunch!

Are you a busy professional who would like to meet that special someone, but you just don't have the time to break away from your Blackberry to put more effort into it? Then try It's Just Lunch®, the matchmaker for busy professionals!

Our goal is to create a quality match at a time and location that is convenient for both you and your date. We arrange everything; the only thing you have to do is show up at the restaurant, look up once in a while from your Blackberry, and enjoy your date.

With It's Just Lunch®, we minimize stress and maximize efficiency by sending people on casual dates over lunch and drinks after work. Then it's up to you and your date to either make a connection or continue to be the incompatible yuppie shitfucks that you are!


It's Just Lunch® was created in 1991 by Betty Sinclair and Alana Beyer who found a fun, proactive approach to finding someone who would listen to them bitch about work and also be able to vent about their stultifying, unsatisifying career. The "dates" would last as long as a lunch or a couple of drinks, or until one of them went to the bathroom and never came back. Both Jeannie and Wanda wanted to name their dating service something that captured their sense of not-getting-their-hopes-up, plus they wanted to own the most defensive name in all of dating services: It's Just Lunch®! (They later dropped the "Jesus Christ" from the front, due to copyright violations.)

Let's hear what some of our customers have to say about IJL:

"As a young professional, I found it hard to find someone who shares my passion for spreadsheets and status meetings. Then with It's Just Lunch®, I found someone named Betty who knows exactly how to change the orientation of text in Excel by using the Alignment option. Plus, her pussy doesn't reek."

-Kevin L.


"My life was hectic, empty, and totally focused on my job. But with It's Just Lunch®, I've met someone special, and now my life is hectic, empty, focused on my job, and I get to eat lunch with some Indian guy in a sweater vest! I think his name is Kamal or Venjay?"


- Paula W.


"Motherfucking income report templates are all wrong! Yes, I did fucking reprint it all! FUCK YOU, then, Trent! I have a fucking meeting at 1:30 in the fish bowl! And fucking Martha can't get the original files uploaded in time! FUCK! Wait, hold on... It's Just Lunch® helped me find my newest girlfriend Yvette, and we're getting married in the fall! Thanks, It's Just Lunch®!... Okay, I'm back...FUCK!"

-Charles I.


"As a VP of a national business and someone who doesn't know how to rotate a simple photo, it's refreshing to find likeminded women who are looking for a serious relationship. Thanks, It's Just Lunch®!"

– Gregory H.

Thanks, Drummer for Supra Genius!

Nice Tips, Jessica.

Jessica provides the first stateside Wedding Tip since her trip to Botswana.