Showing posts with label apollo hoax claims. Show all posts
Showing posts with label apollo hoax claims. Show all posts

Thursday, September 23, 2021

Memorable Lines From Movies I Haven't Watched


"Give 'em hell. And somebody find my eye."


"Why don't you take a seat right there."


"What is this... making love you speak of?"

*guy pulls out massive dong*


"I told you game night was fun." *pulls trigger of bazooka*


"Hi, I'm Julia. And I collect Pogs."

"Hi Julia."


(Dollar General Hotel Transylvania right here)


"I searched for pleasure. I found chlamydia."


"Holy shit, this new H.O.A. is strict."

Monday, October 12, 2020

More Memorable Lines From Movies I Haven't Watched



"Is that a horn in your pants?"
"Yes."


*shoots foot*


Anthony Hopkins: "Ah, yes... Trust is reciprocal, you see. It goes both ways... That's what the word 'reciprocal' means. I'm required to explain this because some people watching won't know it."


*shoots guy who shot his own foot*


She gets too hungry, for dinner at three
She loves Transformers but not Bumblebee
 Doesn't have Netflix but still has Qui-bi
 That's why the lady is a square 


"You just farted. Can I crack a window?"


"Before I can see you, do you have what robo-insurance do you have?"


"MORTAL KOMBAT!" (yelled by old lady)


(in Mid Atlantic accent) "I bet yer one of those fellas that say 'no' to gals all the time. Telling them they can't do this or can't do that. Well, let me tell ya buster, I'm my own woman and don't have to listen to you or any other man or woman or robot or anything that can talk to tell me what I can or can't do. You hear me? I'm going to light and smoke this cigarette right here no matter what anybody tells me!"


"What death salad dressing would you like on your death salad?"


"Oh shoot. I thought you asked me to PRESS THE BREAK. My bad."


"Enough with the cheeky double entendres. LET'S FUCK!"

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Meanwhile, at a Kinko's in Arlington, VA,

Jay Cohen spots a sign at Kinko's that breaks up with you and then still wants to be friends.


Tuesday, July 7, 2009

It's Just Lunch!


Are you a busy professional who would like to meet that special someone, but you just don't have the time to break away from your Blackberry to put more effort into it? Then try It's Just Lunch®, the matchmaker for busy professionals!

Our goal is to create a quality match at a time and location that is convenient for both you and your date. We arrange everything; the only thing you have to do is show up at the restaurant, look up once in a while from your Blackberry, and enjoy your date.

With It's Just Lunch®, we minimize stress and maximize efficiency by sending people on casual dates over lunch and drinks after work. Then it's up to you and your date to either make a connection or continue to be the incompatible yuppie shitfucks that you are!


It's Just Lunch® was created in 1991 by Betty Sinclair and Alana Beyer who found a fun, proactive approach to finding someone who would listen to them bitch about work and also be able to vent about their stultifying, unsatisifying career. The "dates" would last as long as a lunch or a couple of drinks, or until one of them went to the bathroom and never came back. Both Jeannie and Wanda wanted to name their dating service something that captured their sense of not-getting-their-hopes-up, plus they wanted to own the most defensive name in all of dating services: It's Just Lunch®! (They later dropped the "Jesus Christ" from the front, due to copyright violations.)

Let's hear what some of our customers have to say about IJL:

"As a young professional, I found it hard to find someone who shares my passion for spreadsheets and status meetings. Then with It's Just Lunch®, I found someone named Betty who knows exactly how to change the orientation of text in Excel by using the Alignment option. Plus, her pussy doesn't reek."

-Kevin L.


"My life was hectic, empty, and totally focused on my job. But with It's Just Lunch®, I've met someone special, and now my life is hectic, empty, focused on my job, and I get to eat lunch with some Indian guy in a sweater vest! I think his name is Kamal or Venjay?"


- Paula W.


"Motherfucking income report templates are all wrong! Yes, I did fucking reprint it all! FUCK YOU, then, Trent! I have a fucking meeting at 1:30 in the fish bowl! And fucking Martha can't get the original files uploaded in time! FUCK! Wait, hold on... It's Just Lunch® helped me find my newest girlfriend Yvette, and we're getting married in the fall! Thanks, It's Just Lunch®!... Okay, I'm back...FUCK!"

-Charles I.


"As a VP of a national business and someone who doesn't know how to rotate a simple photo, it's refreshing to find likeminded women who are looking for a serious relationship. Thanks, It's Just Lunch®!"

– Gregory H.