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New Funding Projects Now on Kickstarter

Every business needs money to get started. And the good folks at Kickstarter have announced the latest new ventures looking for funding from you. Feel free to chip in to help these business ideas get off the ground:

• Shampoo that smells like someone came in your hair

• Full body lobster bibs

• Electronic gigolo that keeps Alexa company when you're away

• Rat jerky for survivalists

• Tires made from recycled shoes made from recycled tires

• Punch in the ribs delivery service

• Amazing optical illusions that will actually blind you permanently

Here Are Your Job Numbers For November 18, 2019

Howdy office 2972 Corporate Drive! It's Wally, your humble beverage vendor here to refill the soda machine and water cooler in the break room AND to deliver this week's set of job numbers for your timesheets. Do remember to complete your hours by the end of the week, or else you don't get paid (but I will, because I have a contract with the building!). Anyways, here are the digits:

35595: Bait & switch

49141: Slap & tickle

03965: Rattle & hum

39002: Analyzing the Wonder Woman trailer more than you should

57657: Hiring the shitty backup babysitter

91001: Covering your nipples with Thin Mints

71321: Farting in your ceremonial robes

88421: Explaining to millennials who Kyle Minogue was

52121: Wearing the shit out of your mouse's scroll wheel

37823: Blaming your illegal behavior on the Mentos you just ate

60152: Defending "Suicide Squad" against your better judgment

83127: Claiming unreclaimed wood is reclaimed

UAG