UAG

Temu Throwing Everything At The Wall

Fuck an algorithm. Temu just decided to throw the most random shit together to possibly interest you.

I think all of these pictures were on that cursed videotape in "The Ring".

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Give a Child a Fade

Parents are learning that cutting their children's hair can save a lot of time and money. Here's a quick guide on how to give your kid an awesome fade:

1) Get your clippers and attach the desired guard. 1 is the shortest and 5 is for longer hair.

2) Run the clipper along the child’s head, starting at the back. Make sure to keep your strokes slow and smooth. 

3) Use a longer guard length to give your child a fade. Start from the nape of the neck, bringing the clipper up towards the bottom of the crown. As you do, bring the clipper towards you in an arc to blend the different lengths together.

4) Brush off your kid and send them to the shower!

And speaking of showers, I once had a bridal party totally wreck my limo with confetti and glitter. Took me a week to vacuum out completely. ASK FIRST, LADIES!

Jesus, Temu. Are You Okay?

I don't even know where to begin. The bizarre A.I. Pixar woman. The multiple penis plushies. The fact that six of them is listed as "1pc".

Hard pass.

I Dunno, Temu.

Is China just shitting out every possible variation of product now to sell to Westerners? 

Don't answer that.

Uhhh...

I'm not sure how Temu figured out my plans for the weekend, but they nailed it.