Cancellations For VidCon 2025

With a nasty stomach virus still going around and the revelation that event organizers are broke and can't pay, many VidCon attendees are cancelling their appearances at the upcoming influencer expo.

Some of the latest cancellations:

• Warga the Dipping Bird may agree to appear but WILL NOT DIP

• Sasha & Temu Caillou

• Prank Peloton Coaches

• Ghislaine Maxwell impersonator Gillaine Paxil

• "Affluencer" Rich Kid Tycoon McDucats

• Batmansplainer

• Andy Dick called in to tell VidCon that they will be "dickless". Classic.

The Newest Benefits of an AMC Stubs Membership

Movie theaters are brimming with repeat customers, thanks to AMC's Stubs loyalty program, and thanks to the slew of perks that its members enjoy. Here are the latest benefits added to this wildly successful program:

• If you plan to propose to your girl in the theatre, we'll put the ring in the popcorn and try to pour butter around it rather than on it

• Our ushers have been professionally trained to yeet loud people

• We'll let you take one of our lobby standees home and have sex with it if you promise to bring it back

• Free beeper so you can leave the theatre and have lunch and dinner while the trailers are playing

• Free admission to any new movie starring expired character actor Thomas Mitchell

• If our concession employees spontaneously break out into a rap cipher, you will automatically be invited to spit some bars

The AMC Stubs "Fill Any Container With Popcorn For $2" Promotion Is Canceled.

After numerous complaints and fire safety violations, AMC has discontinued its popular "Fill Any Container With Popcorn for $2" program.

Patrons—including AMC Stubs members—cannot bring the following containers in to fill with popcorn anymore:

• Wheelbarrows

• Any sarcophagus

• Bounce castles

• 1:1 scale Godzilla costumes

• train cars (boxcar and open-top hoppers)

• VW bugs

• New York 1 bedroom apartments

• walk-in refrigerators

• that wrecking ball that was used in the Miley Cyrus video (it's hollow, btw)

• any bag of holding

My Apple Watch Ain't Playing Around, Guys

It is... 

Some More Memorable Lines From Movies I Haven't Watched

"This won't work out. We're not compatible. You're obviously USB-C while I'm USB-A!"

"What was it you said earlier, that this job would get off without a hitch? Well, Sarah, guess what this is. That's right. A HITCH! This job is definitely getting off WITH a hitch, Sarah! You hear me? I signed up for a HITCHLESS job and we now have ourselves a HITCHFUL job, Sarah!"

"Hello. My name is Andrew Tate."

"It's your turn to change him."

"Goddammit."

"This high up, you can't possibly expect there to be a working shower."

A Follow Up To An Earlier Post

We posted an entry about a bizarre Etsy banner earlier last month, and I guess because of the browsing history, we got ANOTHER weird banner, but from eBay:

WHY WOULD I WANT A MUGSHOT OF A SULLEN, DISHEVELED TIGER WOODS?!

WHY IS THIS SO AWESOME??!!