The Newest Benefits of an AMC Stubs Membership

Movie theaters are brimming with repeat customers, thanks to AMC's Stubs loyalty program, and thanks to the slew of perks that its members enjoy. Here are the latest benefits added to this wildly successful program:

• If you plan to propose to your girl in the theatre, we'll put the ring in the popcorn and try to pour butter around it rather than on it

• Our ushers have been professionally trained to yeet loud people

• We'll let you take one of our lobby standees home and have sex with it if you promise to bring it back

• Free beeper so you can leave the theatre and have lunch and dinner while the trailers are playing

• Free admission to any new movie starring expired character actor Thomas Mitchell

• If our concession employees spontaneously break out into a rap cipher, you will automatically be invited to spit some bars

The ProofrEADJer: End of April Edition

6 Lies Told By A Thai Massage Brochure From The Czech Republic

 

1) "Massage" LOL

2) What they don't tell you is that the woman fourth from the left in the back row is actually John Leguizamo doing a hilarious new sketch comedy/hidden camera show. You signed the waiver!

 

3)  "Improves waste secretion." I never heard of getting a tug job to make you more regular, but different strokes, I guess... Pun intended.

4) WELCOME! (no cops)

 

5)  There's no one who bowls at this bowling alley because everyone's either giving or getting a hand job.

6) There's no one drinking from these watered down liquor bottles because everyone's either giving or getting a hand job.

EADJ is proud to announce that the "6 Lies" series has been turned into an interactive multimedia exhibit at the "LEARN!" section of the Liberty Science Center in Newark, New Jersey. Here, the curious can experience "hands on" lessons with fascinating, expensive displays. Homebound people (like shut-ins or agoraphobics) can Skype with a "6 Lies" specialist to enjoy the exhibit at home. The "6 Lies" exhibit runs from April 20-November 11. Sponsored by Mayflower Moving Company: "Box It and Get It Moving On The Road Today!"