Smecial Dreams Entry

Smecial Dreams Entry

I'm not sure what this means, but I wrote this in my phone's Notes after waking from a dream:

A Very Smecial Dreams Entry: Andrew Files A Follow-Up Report With A Full Description Of Megan's "Danny Devito" Dream

Andrew had promised earlier to get a more in-depth description of Megan's excellent Danny Devito dream, as covered earlier this week. After having consulted with her further, Andrew now has a full transcript of the dream:

Staying at my parents’ house, I had developed a habit of going downstairs at 2 or 3 a.m. Periodically, I could hear something going on outside: voices, etc. but I never bothered to look behind the curtains. Finally, I did, and this is what I saw:

Danny DeVito with a baseball team of little people, all in blue uniforms.

“WHAT THE F$%K IS GOING ON HERE??” I said.

Danny, upset that he had been “caught,” explained how he coaches these teams of little people. But detailed that you must have a Master’s Degree to play. But it was more complicated than that. If you wanted to play a different sport coached by DeVito, you had to have a different Master’s: one for football, one for baseball, and so on.

Everyone was really nice. 





**Slight Update:

Smecial Dreams Entry!

These two from me:





And this almost-one from Tom:

UAG

My apologies to the makers of Adobe Photoshop for the flagrant misuse of their fine product.

Nobody Better Lay A Finger On My Lobsterfest®

Editor's Note: EADJ has been posting the latest and greatest Lobsterfest® offerings for years now, and only fairly recently has it become mandatory for the writer of these entries to be inebriated.

So last Saturday, Andrew got drunk and wrote this latest entry. No typos have been corrected, although we have added a "®" to every mention of Lobsterfest®.

Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster continues its relentless siege on the fools who resist attending its succulent suckfest. Here now are the latest developments in lobster-delivered-all-up-in-your-face technology:

• You bring a lobster into the shower. You shower on it, seeing just what disparate drips of water drip down beneath your nether regions. Whichever drips happen to hit the lobster, you must take bites of said lobster immediately. Taste the sensation! And that's just a Russian-roulette-esque way to enjoy Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster.

• Find a Tony Roma's ”A Place for Ribs" near your chosen residence or place of business. Eat ribs copiously, showing your teeth and letting your food pieces gleam with importance. Contemplate how this activity still does not compare in any way ro LOBSTERFEST®. From there, head to lobsterfest® and just eat your fucking face off.

• A man and a woman walk through a hybrid Target/Subway/Pier One Imported Goods parking lot. A group of dancing lobsters, which includes a woman who matriculated at Harvard, an ex-rockette, and someone who used to date Tim Teufel, appear and gather in a way that makes you appreciate how much you tip a belly dancer. Everyone's here! Hope you've enjoyed another way to enjoy LOBSTERFEST® AT RED LOBSTER.

• Redman and Method Man show up and debate amongst themselves just how many cheese muffins they can steal. U-God shows up. He stuffs his face and starts speaking in crumbs (spitting crumbs everywhere, hitting everyone in sight). While making the call without any regard, Martin Scorsese just goes up and says yes, then drives away in his fully-loaded Lexus. Hello! And goodnight, lobster fans. Stay here and stay for the tastings.

An Imagined Conversation

McDonald's proofreader: "Wait, is this a Zoolander reference?!"

McDonald's copywriter: "Yeah, cool, huh?"

McDonald's proofreader: