I Apologize In Advance For This Post.

Spotted at a public building in Maplewood, NJ:

The phrase "Mechanical Penthouse" made me think of this:

 

The AMC Stubs "Fill Any Container With Popcorn For $2" Promotion Is Canceled.

After numerous complaints and fire safety violations, AMC has discontinued its popular "Fill Any Container With Popcorn for $2" program.

Patrons—including AMC Stubs members—cannot bring the following containers in to fill with popcorn anymore:

• Wheelbarrows

• Any sarcophagus

• Bounce castles

• 1:1 scale Godzilla costumes

• train cars (boxcar and open-top hoppers)

• VW bugs

• New York 1 bedroom apartments

• walk-in refrigerators

• that wrecking ball that was used in the Miley Cyrus video (it's hollow, btw)

• any bag of holding

Pathmark and The Myth of Sisyphus

In Greek mythology Sisyphus was the king of Ephyra. He was punished for his self-aggrandizing craftiness and deceitfulness by being forced to roll an immense boulder up a hill, only to watch it roll back down, repeating this action for eternity. Kind of like the job of stockboy at any Pathmark store.

A Catchy Tagline.

Monique apparently likes getting it done in teacher's breakrooms.

Best Ad Ever. Of the Week.

Wow. So many reasons why this ad is awesome.

• The pun using Yiddish
• The shitty clipart with the inexplicable motion lines
• The bad collage-work resulting in George Washington with a purse around his neck
• The implication that Washington was late in crossing the Delaware and needed the help of a shitty packaging store in the Ukrainian Village
• The fact that I'm vaguely aroused