Triggered Old Man

Pictured below, a set of patterns on DeviantArt that somehow thinks the 90's looked like the 50's or parts of the 80's.

Here's another unrelated one for a murder-party-in-a-box, with the same damn anachronistic problem:

Kids these days!

Hey, Let's Check In With The EADJ Dashboard Buddies™!

It's been a minute since we caught up with our three dashboard pals, so let's see what they've been up to!

PENGUIN!

 Uh, is this a real segment? I don't remember this being one... This is actually a bad time. My cousin passed away and I'm trying to find a flight to his funeral at the end of the week... I'm sorry. This is just the worst time for me... *sobs*

COW!

...And that's when I found out that Cheryl's sister had left her husband. Right, I suspected she was going to leave her anyway after that very public fight they had at the McNeals's... Oh, I'm sorry. I'm in the middle of another blog entry right now. Check back later? Thanks.

HIPPO!

I'm not talking to you guys anymore. Since the last entry, my Instagram was flooded with troll comments saying I'm a stupid-ass for appearing on your shit-ass unfunny blog. This has ruined my social media presence. Goodbye.

It's Time To Say Goodbye To More Shit That Advertisers Want You To Say Goodbye To

Previous stupid entries here.

Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! 

It's Time Once Again To Play, Which Can, Erickson?

Match each toilet (with accompanying dating app for Android) to its correct location below:

1. Wild Buffalo Wings, Beltsville MD
2. Tomorrowland, Disney World, Orlando, FL
3. BC Place, Vancouver
4. The Pikey, Los Angeles
5. The Artie Lang Show Studios, NYC
6. SilverBall Arcade & Museum, AsburyPark,NJ

Answers will be revealed tomorrow!

Pathmark VI: Revenge Of The Apathetic Stockboys

Oh, Splendid.

Spotted in my room at the W in Austin, Texas, some eerie wallpaper:


It's very similar to the rug in "The Shining."


Not a pattern you want to see in a hotel. Especially when covered in what looks like cocaine and bloodstains.


Why can't my hotel room be more like "Eyes Wide Shut," instead?

UAG

The EADJ Crappinema Presents Da Station

Remember that great show "WKRP?" And the urban comedy smash "Barbershop?" Well, the makers of Da Station saw them, too, and figured they could make something as good or better. Problem is nobody amongst them knew how to write dialogue. Or a plot. Or knew how to type it up on the computer. Or knew how to fix the printer once the "low ink" light came on. So the movie was pretty much a neato premise with an impressive cast that slowly falls apart due to no story. By the end, it's such a flaccid pigfuck that I'm surprised anyone showed up at the last day.



























And with all hip hoppers, it always ends in violence (did white guys write this?).


(Click to play)
$5 to anyone who can decipher what these two guys are mumbling.









So by this point, the filmmakers were throwing pretty much everything against the wall to make the movie interesting. One of the things they threw was a Miss Big Booty '96 pageant full of more terrible stereotypes! Yay!


(Click to play)





When you're writing a comedy ("urban" or not), I understand that you often have to create broad characters and situations to get the funny. But to have two types of characters: the jackass clown and the straight, boring one who isn't a jackass clown, you're just being lazy.

Overall grade: F