UAG

The ProofrEADJer: March Edition

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That's Weird.

I had never pegged Yoda to be the MMA tribal tattoo kind of guy.

I Can't Believe There's Another Off-Brand TP Roundup

Just when we thought we'd seen every last generic brand of toilet paper, we go take a poop somewhere public and are confronted with yet another EADJ bit (or bits, since the paper is so fragile).

Brand: Green Heritage

Label: Wavy green leaves, separated by undulating white lines.

Feels Like: Wiping with somebody's old family tree chart.

Brand: Keep It Green

Label: What looks like a piece of sod, decorated with a butterfly and a FOOTBALL?!

Feels Like: Getting blitzed by linebackers in your ain-hole.

Brand: Slurp Ass Surpass

Label: Brown tobacco leaves or brown coffee beans, plus a disturbing asterix near the name (is that a drawing of an asshole?)

Feels Like: Falling off the back seat of a motorcycle in short shorts and landing on the back tire at 80mph.

Brand: Soft Touch

Label: Plain lettering over a Tiffany blue background

Feels Like: Somebody lied.

The EADJ Crappinema Presents: "The Suburbans"

 

I love Will Ferrell. And I love boobies. So, naturally, I jumped at the chance to watch all three on this little known gem from 1999: "The Suburbans." It's the story of Jennifer Love Hewitt as a record label manager who stages a comeback for the one-hit wonder 80's band, The Suburbans. Pretty promising premise for a comedy, right? Right.

The thing that goes wrong here- pretty much all the way through- is that this is not about the band at all, but about one member and the relationship with his wife. And that one band member is not Will Ferrell. And it's not very funny.

 

So much about this movie is about the one guy and his wife, and there are so many unfunny reaction shots of his face, that I'm going to float out a theory: that actor is the director. I base this assumption on four clues: 

 

 

 

 

Overall grade: F