Okay, If You Feel That Way, Ice-T

UAG

UAG

6 Lies Told By The Capital City Segway Tours Brochure

1) Not everyone who takes these tours looks like the fat version of the cast of "The Walking Dead."

2) Old fart in the background not guaranteed to be there.

3) Day & Night does not mean you can ride your Segway past the White House at 4am, because that shit will get you shot.

4) There's nothing WWII veterans like better than dodging youngsters on newfangled hovercraft wheel-thingies on the sidewalks.

5) "Cold drinks for cheap" means we won't rape you as bad as the Smithsonian commissary will. $6 for a bottled water instead of $7.50.

6) This QR code doesn't actually go the to "www.CitySegwayTours.com." Try it. (click to enlarge)

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Do you enjoy the "6 Lies Told" series? We'd like to hear from you. The "6 Lies Told" series was created by "Cheers" creators Les Charles, Glen Charles, and James Burrows in 1987 and is now an upcoming original movie on the Hallmark Channel starring Stockard Channing as the number 3. The "6 Lies Told" series also lives as a set of commemorative saucers from the Franklin Mint and will soon be limited-run bears at your local Build-A-Bear Workshop.

EADJ Rewind

I was rummaging through some old boxes and found this. This is a flyer I spotted in Atlanta when I was in town for the 1996 Summer Olympics.



So many questions. I picture a frantic delusional Asian man taping these all over Atlanta.

Okay, What the Hell.

There's this convenience store near my house in New Jersey, and I just visited it recently. It's run by a kindly Indian man who is very friendly but has an odd way of stocking his wares.




What the fuck, dude. Did he make that sandwich himself? I'm glad he clarified that it was made with two slices of bread. I'm amazed he didn't include nutritional information.


Yes, that is a single stick of butter being sold next to a single jello cup. It looks like he's ignoring all those 'not for individual sale' warnings on wrappers so he can turn a buck. Oh yeah, also the chocolate bar.


There are no words.

To EADJ His Own

Word on the street has it that Tianna is planning a worldwide tour later this year.

TMZ has confirmed that 4 choreographers, several hundred roadies, and 5 sound engineers have been called to meet on Friday to launch her "Extremely Fluffy Paws and Effekt" tour in October. Also, some visual effects wizards have been asked to create a floating stage that can sustain the weight of a 4-piece band and a 14 ounce Angora rabbit in costume.

Jive Records, Tianna's record label, has not officially confirmed tour dates but has hinted that label mates Chris Brown, Joe, R. Kelly, 3LW, Ciara, Clipse, T-Pain, and Samantha Jade will be sharing a bus with Tianna.

EADJ will report more on this developing story as it develops. Or whatever.