Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

If you're looking for a twist ending, this ain't the place.

Kristine Johnson's Crotch Is Prime Real Estate

CBS 2 News apparently considers Kristine Johnson's netherparts suitable to project some branding as well as some handy info.

All I know is that it's 82º down there. Heyooooo!

Meanwhile, Maurice DuBois (it means "of wood") has leased advertising space on his ass to local restaurant Fernandez Steakhouse.

And in surprising unrelated news, correspondent Alice Gainer apparently has appeared in the Jeremy Renner movie "The Bourne Legacy." Hoonoo.

6 Lies Told By The CIA Spy Exhibit Brochure

1) Not everything revealed in this exhibit has been declassified. And not everything that has been declassified is revealed in this exhibit.

2) The exhibit doesn't actually feature someone doing a soft shoe dance on the sidewalk. That's outside.

3) "Discovery: More Than a Museum." Nope. It's pretty much a museum.

4) Visitors are not encouraged to stroke the glass cases. In fact, if you're within 6 inches of a display case, an alarm goes off and you'll suddenly find yourself in a holding pen in Guantanamo Bay. You think I'm kidding?!

5) Kids who dream of becoming secret agents can only fully experience the world of espionage by selling sensitive government documents to foreign nations by way of their embassy in exchange for money or political asylum.

6) "Navigating laser beams" actually means "rolling on top of a supermarket scanner like a dumbass until it beeps."

EADJ is proud to announce that the "6 Lies Told" series is now a new college course taught at the Rio Salado College in Tempe, Arizona. The course covers everything from brochures to the six lies that each one tells in graphic detail. 

The completion of the course counts towards a degree in Dental Assisting or Law Enforcement Technology but can be also used towards a simple framed Certificate of Completion for $15.99.

We Don't Do This Bit Anymore.

What They Thinking

A: "Man, there are a lot of keylines here."
B: "Yay, we're only a quarter through these 600 keylines!"
C: "I woke up in the middle of the night dreaming about resizing an out of home board!"
D: "I wonder if I should bring up the fact that there's a typo on every keyline."

25 Facts That You Didn't Know About The Band DragonForce

(NOTE: none of these facts have been taken from that unverified crapfest Wikipedia)

1) Like Romulus and Remus, they were all birthed by a wolf. Except it was a dragonwolf.

2) Dragons have been known to be attracted to their live shows, wherein the audience is often terrorized, but the band FORCES the Dragon to calm down and have a Coke.

3) Every year in October, the band travels to Sussex, England to help a dragon give birth to a dragon-calf. They always name the calf after the second track of an album. This year, the calf will be named "The Fire Still Burns," which comes off their newest album, "Ultra Beatdown." See, it totally works.

4) Vocalist Frederic Leclercq hails from France but does not spit on Americans as often as you think he would.

5) The band have filmed several PSAs educating children about dragon abuse and "dragonism." In them, a band member usually cries.



6) Keyboardist Vadim Pruzhanov really enjoyed the book "The Cheese Monkeys" by Chip Kidd.

7) Yes, the band has sampled dragon meat. But they didn't know what it was at the time. And they didn't enjoy it, either. Can we not talk about this?

8) Their sister band, UnicornFlash, has a bigger following in Australia, but it's mostly consisted of people who confuse the two bands.

9) Their previous album "Inhuman Rampage" contains clues about where to find a hidden dragon treasure in Atlantic City, NJ.

10) Before the exclusive photographer from People was supposed to arrive, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's allowed DragonForce to see their baby Shiloh.

11) Rhythm guitarist Herman Li insists on shampoo and conditioner in separate bottles. You think I'm making this shit up? Check out the last entry on his bio page. Who's lying now, bitch? Whut?

12) The band periodically meets with Finnish President Tarja Halonen and Nordic Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg to see what they (the band) can do to rock harder.



13-25) Still pending. Check back later, k? :)