The ProofrEADJer: December Edition

 

UAG

For more on David Thewlis, click here.

"Honeymoon Photos? OH BOY!!!!"

(pictured above, John Reid wants to run, but cannot move his legs, but cannot wake up from this nightmare)

Work it out, Chimp Servant.

Joel had been complaining about his chimp servant's low muscle tone and weak upper body strength. So he bought it a year-long membership to Shaz, the local hip gym, complete with Olympic-length pool and climbing wall area.

At first, the chimp servant resented wearing the obligatory tank top and shorts. And the treadmill buttons were too high for it to adjust the speed. But after a few weeks, it started to visit Shaz at every opportunity.

In a short period of time, the chimp servant has improved its core muscles, its oblique abs, and its endurance in the sauna. The newly-buff chimp also has been seen canoodling with Rebecca Romijn and Rebecca Gayheart. Joel has meanwhile gained 10 lbs., although his dick-eating burns tons of calories per day.

The chimp servant has recently challenged its master to a wrestling match in the Shaz parking lot. Rebecca Gayheart will be on hand to both referee the match and to run over children while driving with a cell phone. Bookies have 23 to 1 odds on Joel winning the match.

(pictured above, Andrew at one of those lunchtime Bad Film Club viewings. Can't remember which one. "Frogs?")