Stick In The Hole, Chapter 1

Picture below, some instructional books at Babies R Us show you how to become a parent in one easy step.

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Pond Swoop With a Parachute

A professional skydiver was killed during a pond swooping competition in San Diego when he accelerated too quickly during his descent and hit the water at a high speed. But what is pond swooping, you ask? Pond swooping is a dangerous new sport popular among parachute enthusiasts where they move their parachutes close to the surface of bodies of water.


Here are the techniques to basic pond swooping:

1) Maneuver your parachute to travel parallel with the surface of a shallow pond. Use both handles to maintain control of the direction of your chute without braking too hard.

2) When close to the lake or pond, drag your feet across the surface without sinking in or slowing down.

3) Pull your chute up along the surface until you find a stable place to land at a safe speed.

And speaking of swooping near bodies of water, don't ever let a couple take a wedding photo near geese or swans. Nasty little creatures- they will chase you and your car to the ends of the earth. Stay smart, kids.

Exit Sign Played A Song From His Homeland

Exit Sign played a song from his homeland.


Melting Snow enjoyed it.


And so did Basketball Goal.


Winter Coat Sleeve was, frankly, shocked.


Knife Ad was also mortified.


Fire Department Connection was unmoved.


Neither end of the iPod cord knew what to think.


Two Luggage Wheels heckled from the back.


Brick Entrance was shocked.


Backseat Radio couldn't wait to tell everyone.


Grey Roller kept his mouth shut.


Faucet quacked their disapproval.


Eventually, by the fourth song, Fire Department Connection was moved to tears.