Spotted At Dollar General, Part 2

Yesterday we featured some balloons at Dollar General that offered the oh-so-crazy colors white and burgundy. BURGUNDY.

We gave it a think, and here are some possible occasions we came up with to use BURGUNDY balloons:

• Ron BURGUNDY'S birthday party

• A wine tasting that's classy but not that classy

• Retirement party for a co-worker that none of you really liked

• A CONGRATS ON YOUR UNSIGHTLY BRUISE party

• Balloon arch for a library orgy

• Intervention

 

UAG

Three Things Cannot Be Long Hidden: The Sun, The Moon, and The Pathmark

And these last two make me think there was a speed walker going through the store and decided to drop their hand weights:

Special "Peek-A-Boo" Pathmark

An Open Letter To Generations Younger And Older Than Me

Dear Generations Younger And Older Than Me:

What is your problem? All you do is sit there, complaining about the values and behavior of my generation. You say that we're out of touch with your generation's needs and desires, that we can't understand your problems because we don't simply don't care.

Hey, look. We do care, but our generation's got our own problems to deal with, like having and raising kids, keeping down a good-paying job to pay for the mortgage, and trying to find some REAL music on the radio. All you ever do is sit in your bedroom, blaring your godawful music (who listens to that?!) and whining about when dinnertime is coming.

We recognize that there's this generational divide that we'll never get over. We will never understand your stupid pop culture references and your fixation with those movie stars whose names we've never heard of, and frankly, we don't think we're missing out on much.

And what the fuck are you wearing?! Jesus, you need to get to a mall and buy some normal clothes that actually fit you. Just look at how your pants fit. You're embarrassing the rest of the family! And make yourself useful and do the goddamned laundry!

Oh. Also, we don't think you should drive.

Love,
My Generation

Nice Set Up.

Pictured below, either World Cup fever has hit New York, or the shawarma vendor cannot miss his "General Hospital" to see if Sonny manages to save Kristina.

Andrew Eats A Rolly Wrap

Editor's Note: Two weeks ago, Andrew in Seattle read the now-famous Rolly Wrap write-up and requested one of his own. Last week, EADJ sent him one via FedEx. He ate it over the weekend, and here are his words and photos:

The plan to consume my day-plus old Rolly Wrap was a well-executed strategy. As I returned from a shopping trip with my fiance Saturday afternoon, I found myself weak with hunger. It was the perfect time. I opened the Fed Ex to find my Munch Boli wrap in decent shape, considering the cross-country journey. I popped the wrap in the microwave for :45, sat down, opened a bag of Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips as a supplement, and went to work.







In short, the Munch Boli was great. I ate every bite in less than 10 minutes, all told. The peppers kept it flavorful, and the meat inside didn't seem harmed from the long journey. The marinara sauce was also excellent.

I found myself satiated and quite happy for the rest of the afternoon and into the evening. I didn't throw up, shart, or cramp. And when none of those things happen, I can confidently deem my meal a rousing success. Thanks, Munch Boli. My curiosity is piqued and my stomach, satisfied. -Andrew

EDITOR'S FOLLOW-UP: For eating meat that had been unrefrigerated for over 24 hours, Andrew receives the very first EADJ Smecial Polonium Mollusk Award as indicated at the bottom of this blog. Also, bonus points for rocking a Transformers t-shirt.