UAG

UAG

Well, Which Is It, Kid?

Friggin future politician over here.

Retail Loyalty Programs!

With the success of loyalty programs like California Pizza Kitchen's Pizza Dough and My Starbucks, lots of other chains are looking to keep customers coming back with their own custom programs. Join these new loyalty clubs:

Delta Airlines Masochists
Cheesecake Factory Fat Fucks
Petsmart Turdhandlers Elite
Whole Foods Insufferable Soccer Moms
Supercuts Nicked Ear Club
Hobby Lobby Homophobic Sewing Circle
Ticketmaster Enablers
Yankee Candle's La Cosa Nostril
Hooters Eligible Bachelor Pad
Restoration Hardware Pewter Addicts
Sephora Lyin' Bitches
Lids Douchebag Rewards

New Segment: Package Labels Behind The Scenes

The following packages all have distinctive imagery, so much so that EADJ went behind the scenes to find out what the process was to arrive at these memorable labels:

"Okay, X. I know you're a legendary rapper with a solid street rep, but do you think you could look more like you're smelling the Hot Pocket and maybe giving it a little respect?"

"I hate working with you."

"I hate working with you, too. But it's a paycheck. So suck it up, baby."

"Okay, we need a baby with a possibly mixed ethnic background– someone you couldn't just peg as 'Asian' or 'black.' I know, that's totally racist, but... WHOA, Amber, is that your baby??? He'd be perfect for this!!!!"

"All right, now hold the inhaler up to your face without bringing it all the way up... yes, and cock your head to the side like you're a cool mom and this is no big deal... nice... Hey, are you busy after this shoot? You wanna get some coffee?"

"Wait a minute for the fucking butterfly to land; we have low exposure lighting here. Okay, aaaand... FUCK! It flew off again! Put more of that fucking sugar water on the surface. It's coming back... and... FUCKING FUCK!"

An Imagined Conversation

"Okay, drill that last rivet, and I think we're done."

"No, wait, Gordy. Don't come down yet."

"What's the matter? The pharmacy sign is up, and it's level! So, brewskies!"

"Nope. It's not centered now."

"What?! I measured the distance from the letters to the outlines. That thing is centered, Kevin."

"Yes, the letters are, but that gray bar they're on is sticking out the right side. It looks stupid."

"You're stupid."

"Hey, wait a minute. I've got an idea. We still have those extra letters in the truck that say 'Dept.,' so let's fill the rest of that space with those letters! It can say 'Pharmacy Dept.!'"

"That's brilliant, Kevin! Wait. Does that even make any sense?"

"Brewskies!"