And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Redeem General Mills Box Tops For Education

It all started in California in 1996.  General Mills wanted to create a program to help support education and benefit America’s schools – and so, Box Tops for Education™ was born. As part of the initial test program, Box Tops were only available on select Big G cereals, such as Cheerios™, Total™ and Lucky Charms™. Today, America’s schools have earned over $868 million, and you can find Box Tops on hundreds of products throughout the grocery store and online.

1) To receive payment for any Box Tops, or Bonus Box Tops, schools must be enrolled and determined to be active in the Box Tops for Education program.

2) Your school’s Box Tops Coordinator will collect all the Box Tops and send them in so your school can get cash.

3) Checks are mailed to schools twice a year in December and April.

And speaking of checks, I've actually had clients who told the restaurant where they had dined to put their check "on the limo's tab".  That's not how any of this works, folks. Pay your waiter!

Be safe, kids!

More Unknown Perks of the AMC Stubs Rewards Card

Previous entry here.

If you're already a member of AMC Stubs, you already know that you receive tons of great movie benefits, like a free large popcorn refill with every visit, waived online ticketing fees, and a $5 reward for every 5,000 points earned! But did you know there are also some amazing benefits that you may not have heard about? CHECK THESE REWARDS OUT:

• $40 off any small popcorn

• Free Kevin Spacey movie screenings

• After-showing lessons on how to jump away from explosions

• Free surgery (elective and otherwise) for life

• One free overnight stay at the "Princess Suite" in the Taj Mahal in Agra, India

• Legally-immune permission to ransack the shit out of any Dollar Store

• You become one of the public faces of the #MeToo movement

• A free knuckle sandwich, for those of you who need one

• Become ordained as a Catholic priest on Thursdays

• PROTECTION FROM THE EVIL EYE

• Members named Gary are welcome to go fuck themselves

• Free nap in the AMC Stubs Rewards Dumpster

The ProofrEADJer: Special Convenient Edition

Ladies and gentlemen, the hardest word in the English language to spell, according to signs in stores:

Retail Loyalty Programs!

With the success of loyalty programs like California Pizza Kitchen's Pizza Dough and My Starbucks, lots of other chains are looking to keep customers coming back with their own custom programs. Join these new loyalty clubs:

Delta Airlines Masochists
Cheesecake Factory Fat Fucks
Petsmart Turdhandlers Elite
Whole Foods Insufferable Soccer Moms
Supercuts Nicked Ear Club
Hobby Lobby Homophobic Sewing Circle
Ticketmaster Enablers
Yankee Candle's La Cosa Nostril
Hooters Eligible Bachelor Pad
Restoration Hardware Pewter Addicts
Sephora Lyin' Bitches
Lids Douchebag Rewards

Meet Safeway's Tony Tantillo

Hey, how ya doin'. I'm Tony Tantillo, you know, Mikey's brutha. You may have spotted me and whatnot in the fokkin' Safeway circulars that they have there in the Safeway stores and whatnot. "Fresh Ideas Magazine" or "Fresh Grocer" or some shit. I don't know, they keep changing the fokkin' name of the newsletter and I get confused and shit. So fuck 'em.


I was recently featured on the newsletter thing talking about how fokkin' fresh my garden-grown tomatillos are. I know, I know– Tantillo's tomatillos, real cute. But I'm fokkin' serious. These things are the freshest produce you will ever see, my hand to God. You can pluck one of these things from my backyard garden or buy one from Safeway, and I swear on my mother's grave (God rest her soul) that you won't be able to tell the fokkin' difference. Well, if you do try to root around in my garden, I will come out with my brother Mikey's aluminum bat and put it to work on your ankles and knees. See how you like that, hotshot.


Look at these fokkin' things. You really got to go to your local Safeway and check these things out. They're like perfect and whatnot. Firm yet tender skin. Bright perfect red color. Still on the vine. You won't find a better tomato anywheres, I can tell you now. My Aunt Fiona puts these things in her marinara sauce, I swear to God, kids start hoverin' around her kitchen window like fokkin' flies around a donkey carcass. I am not lyin' to you. Them tomatoes make the sauce smell like one a' those fancy million dollar joints. 'Cept it's my Aunt Fiona's place, and she don't serve people who she ain't been introduced to since that assault at the bus stop. Or blacks. Hey, argue all you want. She's from another time.