Know The Difference!

Get it right, people! David Novarro is a TV news journalist for WABC-TV in the New York tri-state area.

Dave Navarro is the guitarist for Jane's Addiction and formerly of the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

David Novarro is currently the co-anchor of the Eyewitness News 4pm Newscast alongside Liz Cho.

Dave Navarro has two pierced nipples and used to tap Carmen Electra's ass on the regular.

David Novarro was once voted "Best Newscaster" in a Chicago Kiss FM radio poll.

Dave Navarro's facial hair looks like felt cutouts of boomerangs glued on his head.

Dave Navarro prefers to play a black Gibson Les Paul or an Ibanez RG series guitar.

David Novarro once caught a lot of hatemail for saying it was "hot as hell" on a 2006 weathercast.

Dave Navarro has been neck deep in pussy longer than you can ever imagine.

So has David.

The Infection Spreads Unchecked

Spotted on a Lufthansa ad in a NJ Transit train, a gummy zombie hungers for the insatiable pleasure of devouring living brains.

Fucking creepy.

And Now, A List Of A Dozen Cities In New Jersey That Sound Kind Of Dirty

• Manasquan

• Secaucus

• Sussex

• Piscataway

• Paramus

• Harding

• Ho-Ho-Kus

• Nutley

• Hackensack

• Wyckoff

• Weekhawken

• Metuchen

EADJ Halloween Costume Roundup

Halloween is only a few weeks away, and there are two types of people: the nerds who have been patiently preparing their costume for over 10 months in their garage, and folks who will stumble into the costume store on Halloween afternoon, desperate to take anything on sale. Before we get to that point, let's review some of the new costume arrivals at your local Halloween costume store:

But seriously, this sexy-version-of-anything trend has to stop. I don't want Gandalf or King Kong or a Fry Guy to be fuckable. Sexy ladies have PLENTY of options for costumes already- nurse, cheerleader, schoolteacher, Playboy bunny, hula girl, Indian maiden, etc etc etc.

And Jesus, what does that say about me if suddenly I do want to fuck a Fry Guy?

Gainfully Employed

Spotted in the local Metro, good news for Alice Gainer- she got a full-time anchoring gig on a CBS affiliate!

No more homewrecking the perfect chemistry between Maurice DuBois (it means "of wood") and Kristine Johnson! Enjoy your new home, AG!

♫ And We Can't Stop... And We Won't Stop... ♪

"Sharknado" has already been aired on SciFi twice and even in movie theatres, but that hasn't stopped us from continuing to suggest and submit alternate taglines to the filmmakers.

Coming (Very Soon): The EADJ Crappinema Review of "KAW!"

Just in time for the iPhone iOS 7 and the "Breaking Bad" finale, EADJ is proud to announce the upcoming Crappinema review of "KAW!" starring Sean Patrick Flanery, Stephen McHattie and Rod Taylor.

In addition to this much anticipated review, for the first time, we have asked a third party to simultaneously contribute their review. Midtown correspondent and Toucan Cleric's Fun employee Tom Weingard has actually watched the darn thing, too, believe it or not, and has agreed to caption some screenshots!

We don't have a recent photo of Tom, but here is a rendering of his likeness in jelly beans:

Stay tuned for this Crappinema historical first in days to come!