A Few Monster Movie Posters

The woman and the alien at the top of this poster look like they're old college buddies catching up on old times.

"You took my bike to Goodwill?! That was a top-of-the-line Fuji touring bike, Nancy!"

This one looks like the guy took his eager little brother to a senior party and regrets it immediately.

Feature Film Ideas Based On Items On The Side of a Cheesecake Box

The eight major film studios are struggling to find new original content to compete with the Netflix juggernaut. Having mined almost every intellectual property already, they have now turned to the next logical step: the side of a cheesecake box in my fridge. Here now are the greenlit projects currently in development:

"Blackout" starring Terrence Howard, Emil Hirsch and Viola Davis. A citywide power outage heightens racial tensions during a protest. Directed by Spike Lee unless he says he already did this.

"Fudge Rum" starring Donald Glover, Rashida Jones and Jane Lynch. This tongue-in-cheek pirate adventure stars two competing pirate clans who discover identical treasure maps at a government official's funeral. Also starring Paul Rudd as Dawonga the Smuggler.

"German" directed by Werner Herzog. German actors Daniel Brühl, Christoph Waltz, Michael Fassbender, Diane Kruger, Gitta Schweighöfer and Franka Potente share a bratwurst and some steins of beer whilst talking about Klaus Kinski and "laughing" about German subjects of their choosing. Very talky.

"OUTRAGE" starring Aaron Paul, Julia Garner, and Jaime Pressley. A white trash couple goes on a robbin' spree in the nearby richie town and gets chased by every state trooper and fed that gets wind of their antics. Starring John C. Reilly as the Governor and Jaime Pressley as his rebellious daughter Kee.

"Truffle" featuring the voices of Horatio Sanz, Jeri Ryan, Michael Ealy, and Stormy Daniels. This DreamWorks animated film follows a sad truffle pig (Sanz) who discovers a magical hallucinogenic truffle that transports him the fuck to some fantastic new bullshit world or whatever. Songs by AJR and score by Danny Elfman.

"Thinking Of You"- A Subtle Gift

Nothing says you want to bone like sending thick shafts of meat to the one you love.

The ProofrEADJer: February Edition

"Adorpion?"

UAG

EADJ Program Note

Thanks to Fiverr's yanitsa for this video!

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Whistle Loud With Your Fingers

Here's how to use your fingers to make a really loud whistle:

1) Press the tips of your thumb and forefinger together (like the “OK” sign).

2) Press the tips of your fingers up against the tip of your tongue and curl your tongue back

3) Squeeze the corners of your mouth hard and tight against your thumb and forefinger.

4) Wrap your lips around your fingers to make as small of an opening as possible.

5) BLOW!

And speaking of blow, this one time a corporate client left about 10 grams of "nose candy" in my limo after I drove him to the airport. It's still in my glove compartment! Shhhhh!

Be safe, kids!