UAG

Pathmark Your Calendars

This one appears to have been a bad moms' party in the baby aisle:

Here Are Your Year-End Job Numbers

Hello, all. Kiersten from HR here. I wanted to remind everyone to fill in your timesheets BEFORE leaving for the break. Too many times now, we've left jobs open and couldn't bill the client and had to move budgets around to compensate, and let me tell you, WE ARE NOT DOING WITHOUT WEDNESDAY DONUTS EVER AGAIN.

So please use these job numbers for your 2015 timesheets and submit them either digitally or hand them to Gary (NOT Sylvia) by the end of the week.

Have a great break, guys!

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47339 - Head boppin'

05594 - Body rockin'

13781 - Doin' the do

03392 - Beer drinkin'

93738 - Breath stinkin'

99581 - Sniffin' glue

50254 - Belly flippin'

30339 - Always illing

86144 - Bustin' caps

39018 - My name is Mike D

92826 - and I write my own snaps

HECKA BREAKING NEWS FROM ANDREW

Andrew's mistaken identity adventures continues from yesterday.

---------- Forwarded message ----------

Fwd: Tuesday Chaingang

From: xXXXXxx@xxx.xxx

Enjoy …

Spotted In A Loews Movie Theatre

Riding down the escalator, I noticed this unremarkable mural of Times Square on the wall.

Pretty unremarkable, until you notice the movie playing on the Embassy marquee:

STUNT CAT?! HOLY SHIT WE GOTTA MAKE THIS HAPPEN, HOLLYWOOD.

The EADJ Crappinema Presents Jock Of the Bushveldt

Holy fucking shit. The things I do for this blog. I suffered through 90 of the most excruciatingly boring minutes of my life with the latest Crappinema offering, "Jock of the Bushveldt." The box says "In 1886, 20 year old Percy Fitzpatrick from Kapstad sets out for Delagoa Bay in Transvaal to dig for gold." But what it meant to say was "We are going to bore you so badly with footage of a dude playing with his dog for two hours that you'll start hating dogs and wish for the sweet release of death." Dude, this thing was SO PAINFUL to watch, it took me four months to even get through it to make this entry. Absolutely miserable.























































Here's a touching dog/man love sequence montage when Percy Fitzpatrick must leave Jock for some reason. Who gives a shit anymore?


To approximate my agony, just watch this clip 90 times.




After not much deliberation, I plotted "Jock of the Bushveldt" on the ol' EADJ Crappinema Continuum (patent pending). And sure enough, that bad boy was the very worst one of the ten (!) films that have been reviewed in this segment. It was relentlessly, brutally boring in a way that can only be described as "attention cancer."

Click to enlarge