The ProofrEADJer: End of February Edition

Submitted by Emily Kane:

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

Only a cheap headband keeps Preme's worst instincts in check.

Most boring Apprentice viewing party ever.

Awkafina is lucky none got on her glasses.

Casanova reluctantly takes the trash out but realizes it would make a great ALBUM COVER.

As you were. Stet.

Kash Doll regrets installing the fancy new door to her walk-in closet.

I bet you $50,000 this has annoying robot sound effects and bleeps in the intro.

Drunk on purp, Don messes with IG filters until something looks halfway artistic.

Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

Twitter's Least Used Hash Tags, Week of February 3

Feast your eyes upon this latest offering of underused hash tags from yon Twittersphere. And feel welcome to use any of these on the end of your own Tweets that I shall never read:

#gameofthronesisstupid

#7shotsofcremedementhe

#proudmolester

#snortingspaghetti

#myanusisawonderland

#asiatheband

#timewarnercablelovelovelove

#offmymeds

#pootytang

#myparentsaretryingtheirbestwithme

#youreallyhavetowatchthewireitsonnetflix

#chinks

#gravypuddles

#mypersonalphonenumberis37894382

#havingtroubleshitting

#tweetingfromthebingoparlor

#webbedfootfetish

#cuntpunched

#soysaucerevolution

Spotted In A Loews Movie Theatre

Riding down the escalator, I noticed this unremarkable mural of Times Square on the wall.

Pretty unremarkable, until you notice the movie playing on the Embassy marquee:

STUNT CAT?! HOLY SHIT WE GOTTA MAKE THIS HAPPEN, HOLLYWOOD.

Let's Put Dressing Directly on the EADJ Mail Sack's Salad Even Though She Asked Us Specifically To Put It On the Side!

(submitted by J'Net, an ad for an amazing hair replacement system that not only grows hair but summons your mother)

MOTHERFUCKING PROOF!!!!!!!

Through the miracle of cell phone camera technology, Todd Crisman has provided video proof of the Shorter, Fatter Version of Scott Peterson. Meanwhile, the Dow does a 180 and climbs 4000 points to reach an unprecedented 16,000. Horses start talking. Water becomes currency. JAG reruns become awesome.

The reaction has been overwhelming:

"OMG SFVOSP" - Joe Nudelman

"I'd somehow always imagined him taller and thinner." - Scott Peterson

"Dude, man, this is HUGE!!!" - Todd Crisman

"Omigod, I've never seen a shorter, fatter Scott Peterson in my life!" - Emily Sander

"I'm surprised the site didn't crash today. biggest news ever. This is a true milestone." - Andrew Gall