UAG

Twitter's Least Used Hash Tags, Week of June 24, 2012

Here now are this week's least popular Twitter hash tags (feel free to use):

#creedfan

#swastickle

#pinkdingleberry

#stmaryscathedralbitches

#runwildshow

#titanic3dawesomeness

#thatfreecreditreport.comband

#godblessticketmaster

#bursitis

#caprisunabortions

#pocarisweat

#ilackspellingandgrammarskills

#dustindiamonddirtysanchez

#hazelnutsinmydiarrhea

#myspace

#bringbackbrontosaurus

#jesushatesme

#chickenegginmypussyyall

#assneck

#blowjobdoofus

#pantyhoseforpilgrims

#oscilloscopesforsale

#kookooroofordinnerhooray

Let's keep this Nikki Train going!

Joel's latest misadventure was a violent altercation involving a salad bar, two squirrels and screenwriter Aaron Sorkin.

I won't bore you with the details, but suffice to say that no one will ever want garbanzo beans at that salad bar again, the surviving squirrel fit nicely into the dollhouse, and Aaron Sorkin is very, very angry about his ceiling now.

(pictured above, a legendary photo from May: Nikki hangs with two randoms in Fado, one of whom keeps a cartoon graveyard in his mouth)

Dick is Why I'm Hot

Finding new ways to eat dick is always challenging. Especially free dick. But earlier this week Joel devised a plan to do just that.

Joel took a job at a Costco in Palo Alto as a "sampler," one of those clerks who hand out free samples of Go-Gurt® or Cracklin' Oat Bran® to shoppers. But Joel was smart enough to set his station up by the dog food pallettes in the back, allowing him to offer "a little extra" with every sample to male shoppers.

With only three days into his new job, Joel has successfully eaten 87 dicks gratis. He's not moving product so much as consuming it, if you catch our meaning, wah wah wah. Way to go, Joel!

(pictured above, Herr Crisman wishes everyone "Bis Morgen DDR" from a German television station in the 70's)