Showing posts with label fairy dust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fairy dust. Show all posts

Monday, October 19, 2020

Yet Even More Terrible Porn Names


Before joining the porn industry, a lot of "hopefuls" think they need a big dong or some gigantic boobs to get started. And that's true, but you also need a catchy porn name. Something that sets you apart but isn't your real name, because who wants pervs showing up at your front door? Here now are some available porn names that you're free to use in your porn career. But keep in mind that like you, they will suck:


Him



Ty Tasshole


Little Lord Fondlemyballs


Q. Anon


Taika Bigshitonmychest


(your actual Social Security number)



Her


Shaquila Sunrise


Manda Lorian


Braxton Hicks Contractions


Medula Oblongottahaveit


Midi Chlorine


Sara Tonin

Monday, June 10, 2019

A Quick Word About Project Mc2 Toys For Girls

It's encouraging to see a booming interest in S.T.E.M. (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math) subjects among children and young people, and with that comes the advent of STEM-related toys for sale. Some toys are better than others, of course. But one particular brand is trying to cash in on the STEM craze while still keeping their feet in the goddamned 1950s. I'm talking about Project Mc2 toys, based on a web series of the same name featuring "a highly secretive group of female government operatives who are trying to protect the world."


Project Mc2, rather than just promoting learning and interest in scientific subjects, chooses to add a thin layer of "science" to the archaic notion that girls should just play with makeup and go to the spa and worry about their appearance. The result is this grotesque mashup of encouraging learning and not-so-subtly keeping women and girls in their place.

I'm sure the argument here is "well, girls do like makeup and getting dressed up and doing their nails" which might be true, but why reinforce all that on girls who might only want to learn about science? Why girl-ify anything just because you want to pander girls? Science is science and interesting enough as it is. You don't need to put a pink skirt on a supercollider so girls can learn about atoms.


Beauticians are scientists! Hair stylists are conducting experiments!


Perfume, WITH SCENTS INCLUDED?! Wow, a bonus!


"Spa experiments." "Slumber Party Science Kit." You know, girls can be girls, but this cynical pandering (and patriarchal pressuring) is not fucking welcome in 2019.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Oh Xenia!


Brown ice cubes are never good.

Joel was horrified to find trays of brown cubes in his freezer trays while making himself a late-night dick shake. He questioned his chimp servant Chad Yarborough about it, and it didn't know anything and continued to play The Smurfs on Colecovision.

After checking the tap- which was clean– Joel examined the refrigerator connections and plumbing in the basement. Everything checked out, so he just threw the cubes away and chalked it up as a fluke.

The next day, the ice cubes were brown again! Joel is utterly baffled at this point. If you have any information about why Joel's cubes are brown, call 1-877-BROWN-ICE and tell them your theory. Joel is almost certain this is not dick-related, however.

(pictured above, a Brooklyn cafe's breakfast menu gives Andrew Gall Halloween costume ideas for the next four years)