"A Sword by Itself Does Not Slay; It is Merely the Pathmark Used By the Slayer."

Oddly, this one has a couple of Blueys:

6 Lies Told By The California Cannabis Guide & Map Brochure

Super-sweet new 6 Lies Told gif animation by Fiverr seller zirodesign:

1. The map will not show you every seller standing in front of a 7-Eleven.

2. Getting too high can make you leave your shopping bag hanging on a bench like an idiot.

3. If you can tell the difference at a glance, you are not high enough.

4. Sorry to disappoint you if you got the bottom of this page and it never said where you could buy any weed.

5. "Tour in HIGH class." Get it? Oh, we have fun.

6. Glass blowing demonstrations are only for those interested in blowing Ira Glass.

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EADJ in partnership with Columbia Outdoor Company is pleased to announce the 6 Lies Told drawstring bag!

This handsome vinyl carrying bag is perfect for your Beanie Baby collection, giant ball of wax, Pomeranian dog outfits, dildo, bong, or books about strong black women. Can also carry one cabbage and one pineapple comfortably while running. It will retail for $29.99.

Hey, Bagster

Yeah, I'm talking to you, asshole.

I see you doing your construction project or whatever, but instead of a solid, REAL dumpster, you decided to try out a Bagster, which apparently is a giant tote bag that you can have the garbage man skip by and carry away like a basket of eggs.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Bags are for groceries. Bags are for holding baguettes from the bakery. Bags are for carrying bedazzled Twilight t-shirts from Hot Topic. BAGS ARE NOT FOR CONSTRUCTION.

Oh, but you say the Bagster is made from a strong polyurethane weave to withstand up to a ton of building refuse? But what about sharp objects, dipshit? You don't think a steel dowel isn't going to puncture the hell out of the side of your Bagster, leaving all your trash to leak out into the street?

Fucking asshole. You're making the neighborhood look like an Easter Egg hunt with that bullshit in your front yard. You're killing me.

Bagster. Get that dainty shit out of my sight. Dig a goddamned hole in your yard and throw garbage in there like a real man.

Overbagged!

Spotted at Madison Square Garden, a woman carrying everything she's ever owned lumbers along for the train.

Okay, What the Hell.

There's this convenience store near my house in New Jersey, and I just visited it recently. It's run by a kindly Indian man who is very friendly but has an odd way of stocking his wares.




What the fuck, dude. Did he make that sandwich himself? I'm glad he clarified that it was made with two slices of bread. I'm amazed he didn't include nutritional information.


Yes, that is a single stick of butter being sold next to a single jello cup. It looks like he's ignoring all those 'not for individual sale' warnings on wrappers so he can turn a buck. Oh yeah, also the chocolate bar.


There are no words.

Some Items At The Car Wash That I Thought Sounded Dirty

(Not pictured: Gear Shift Knob, Splashguard Trim, and Double Cup Holder)

And on a separate note, I found these decorative CDs you can hang on your rear view mirror, so people don't have to hang their regular CDs from their rear view mirror. Makes sense.



I was tempted to buy one of these and try to play it on a CD player. Much like my desire to buy some Rice Krispies Treats, disassemble them and eat them with milk.