Coming Soon To the Hallmark Channel: "Marry Meat Christmas"

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Beach Rocks Was Mellow.

Beach Rocks was mellow.

Radio Controller Instructions was wired.

Airplane Coffee Control Panel didn't give a shit.

Vending Machine Bill Slot seethed with rage, however.

Back of Brick Building does his best Goofy impression.

Step Stool is absolutely shocked.

Fruit Plank is just happy to be here.

Two Way Sign would rather be somewhere else.

Udon Noodles wants to kill himself.

Outside Ashtray is drunk and would like to tell you a hilarious story.

Fast Food Mini Oven is all business.

Two Water Fountains is uncomfortable with you staring at her.

♪ We can't go on together... with suspicious wines...  ♫

"Yarrrgh, matey!"

Dumpster Handle is without words.

Freshly Baked Pastries laugh it up.

Green Map Area is a psycho puppet.

"Help me! I'm trapped!"

The EADJ Sticker Show Comes Back For No Particular Reason

Once again, we spot a bunch of random stickers around town and summon the power of Google to explain their raisons d'être.

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"Don't Hate, Procreate."
Location: Midtown NYC
Possible Meaning: a pro-life movement in New Jersey?

Googling this phrase with the word "sticker" resulted in a lot of anti-Obama right wing stickers, which is odd.

But we did find a version of it on a t-shirt with the New Jersey state for the "O" in "PROCREATE." Still no idea what it could mean.

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"Paone Dezire 145.60"
Location: Soho NYC
Possible Meaning: The name of some dude who charges $145.60 in Bitcoin for a back rub.

Googling "Paone," "Deszire" and "145.60" brought us to a similar photo on Pingram with the same sticker. And then another shot on Instagram revealed a comment by user "pane_nyc" who turns out to be a Brooklyn-based graffiti artist. who at one point DID have stickers out and about. So, that's certainly a possibility.

Maybe? Results are 12% inconclusive.

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"BRWTNESS"

Location: Prague, Czech Republic

Possible Meaning: Either an Armani Exchange knockoff brand or the logo for a neo-Nazi youth movement.

Bingo! It's a skate brand with other pithy t-shirt designs as "FUCK," "Middle Finger," and "FUCK YOU DIE" (with middle finger).

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(Unknown Anchor Symbol with E and M)

Location: Jersey Shore

Possible Meaning: A funky brand of rugged nautical children's wear?

Gah. This is a toughie. I tried to Google "EM Anchor Wings" but nothing came up except images of plates of hot wings. I tried to isolate the logo and run it through reverse image search engine Tineye.com, but nuttin' came up.

Result: Frustratingly inconclusive.

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"Young Whales"

Location: Union, NJ

Possible Meaning: Ironic hipster rock band makes fun of Capitalism in their kid-friendly songs.

First Google result was a closed down online shop. Then another link showed that this was in fact another brand of urban clothing, run by NY Giants wide receiver Victor Cruz and launched with his fellow Giants rookie Nate Collins in 2010.

Phew. Only 2 out of 5 solved. We should Google harder next time.

A Very Disturbing Find At Pathmark

So I had to take a George while at Pathmark the other week (don't ask), and I spotted a stray butcher sticker inside the stall:


Now, I don't need to tell you this is disgusting on a couple of levels here:

• that somebody saw fit to bring unpaid merchandise into a bathroom stall
• that the item they saw fit to bring into the poop stall was apparently RAW MEAT
• that the sticker itself doesn't specify anything beyond "MEAT" with "ALL THE INGREDIENTS"

Piss-Awful Vegas Act #2

Pictured below, the gender-bending goth cheesedick awfulness that is Fashionistas. It's described as "a boy meets girl story told in dance, set to profane industrial music." I love how even they acknowledge it sucks by putting the word "show" in quotes.





Gee, go to a two-bit Vegas show playing industrial remixes of Zeppelin or stick icepicks in your ear canals? Decisions, decisions.

The Making of "Wedding Tips with Jessica Foster, #5"

A rare peek behind-the-scenes at a beloved blog segment. And like most DVD extras, it's pretty boring.

The EADJ Mail Sack is brimming to the rim with deposits.

Vince submitted this comp drawing he made for a Corona ad. Marshall reportedly gaped at the huge vagina that Vince drew in the curtains. I don't see it.

$1+$1+$1+$1+$1+$1+$1+$1+$1+$1+$1= Salad

(pictured above, Ponte Fresco asks "Why get a salad made in 5 minutes when you can have eight people make one in 20 minutes and charge you 11 bucks for it?")