A Few More Available But Terrible Porn Names

We get it. You're young, eager to make money and don't have enough regrets in life. So you're trying porn! First thing you'll need is a name. Here are some available ones because previous porn stars thought they were too stupid. Not you, though. Have at it:

HIM

Stevia

Miles Fromfuckable

Opie Oid Epidemic

Dan De Soleil

Rectum Ralph

Marco DeBeast

HER

Stevia

Dane Jerzone

Hoda Damelevator

Paramecia Gash

Ellen M.O.P.

Sangria Retardo

Nadine DaButte

Jenny Talia

The ProofrEADJer: October Edition

"Megazines."

And for the first time ever, a ProofrEADJer movie clip!

Twitter's Least Used Hash Tags, Week of February 3

Feast your eyes upon this latest offering of underused hash tags from yon Twittersphere. And feel welcome to use any of these on the end of your own Tweets that I shall never read:

#gameofthronesisstupid

#7shotsofcremedementhe

#proudmolester

#snortingspaghetti

#myanusisawonderland

#asiatheband

#timewarnercablelovelovelove

#offmymeds

#pootytang

#myparentsaretryingtheirbestwithme

#youreallyhavetowatchthewireitsonnetflix

#chinks

#gravypuddles

#mypersonalphonenumberis37894382

#havingtroubleshitting

#tweetingfromthebingoparlor

#webbedfootfetish

#cuntpunched

#soysaucerevolution

Condiments Question

Many EADJ readers have asked over the years if Joel enjoys eating dick with any condiments or sauces. The answer is 'sometimes.'

•In the spring, Joel enjoys dipping dick in praline spread and framboises confiture.

•During episodes of "Ugly Betty," Joel enjoys dick with a pineapple and ginger sauce.

•Joel eats dick with Marmite, but only after being slapped.

•Mustard and worchestershire sauce is a favorite dick sauce when Joel is watching a game of jai alai.

•When dining on dick at the Cleveland airport, Joel insists on a bottle of "Denzel's Dangerous Goods."

•When being accused of forgery, Joel enjoys dick with a roasted garlic teriyaki sauce.

(pictured above, LAX decides to end their college internship program)

Opinionated

Hey, Pewter Bear. What did you think of the YouTube Democratic debates?


Goddamn, Pewter Bear, is there anything you say that doesn't make everybody want to stab you in the eyesocket? You are such a miserable little DIPSHIT. Die already.