Editor's Note: Earlier in the month we posted the downside to attending an all-ages show. Here now is one serious upside. All that you're about to read is true.Last Saturday, Andrew Gall and I attended the Rock The Bells Hip Hop Show on Governor's Island which featured the greatest rappers and DJs from the early 90's: KRS-One, Rakim, A Tribe Called Quest, Wu-Tang Clan, Snoop Dogg, and DJ Premier, to name a few. And it was all ages. The crowd was a good mix, both racially and age-wise. A few minutes before Snoop Dogg was about to perform, Andrew and I spotted two very young gentlemen in front of us– one chubby, one thin. They looked pretty drunk, and we noticed how one had even found a discarded drink wristband and crudely reassembled it on his wrist. I said to Andrew, "Hey, look in front of us. It's 'Superbad.'"
And wouldn't you know it, they heard me. This gave them the opportunity to approach and laugh it off with us. When the chubby one started saying he really is Jonah Hill's little brother, I told him he was a terrible liar. We asked them what they've been drinking to get so hammered, and the chubby one (named Ethan) produced a water bottle filled with vodka. "Where did you get the vodka?" one of us asked him. His parents' basement, Ethan said.
The skinny one (named Theo) told us he also gave blood earlier that day, making the alcohol affect him even more. They had taken a train down from Connecticut and were having the time of their lives. Turns out Ethan was 16 with only a learner's permit and Theo was slightly older. I laughed at both of them for not being old enough to even rent a car yet. Theo gave me the finger.
Ethan told Andrew and me that he was going to Princeton and that he would soon be joining "us college age dudes" after graduation. Andrew and I were stunned that he mistook us for 20-year-olds.
We did ask them how they were into this type of music scene, rather than being into
screamo or
30 Seconds To Mars. Theo said, "Isn't that some old sitcom?" Andrew corrected him, saying that was "3rd Rock From The Sun." I couldn't tell whether that was Theo's youth or vodka confusing him.
Then when we were all getting along, Ethan asked me semi-politely what my nationality was. I told him I'm Filipino, and he started "apologizing for World War II" to me. Instead of asking him to elaborate on why a Jewish kid needs to apologize to a Filipino man for WWII, I told them, "You boys enjoy the show." Theo was smart enough to pick up on the hint to get the fuck out and grabbed his friend's arm to whisk him to another part of the crowd.
Andrew and I have since wondered if Ethan and Theo puked later that night from all that vodka. One would hope. Plus I would imagine their after-show misadventures would have a pretty awesome soundtrack featuring Van Halen, De La Soul, and Papa Roach.
Good kids.
Unnecessary legal disclaimer: Neither Andrew nor I supplied Theo or Ethan with alcohol of any kind; those two chuckleheads had their own already. But one skinny ginger kid approached Andrew at one point in the show and offered to trade him a valium for the beer he was holding. Andrew declined.
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Tiny Update: A quick check on iMDb reveals that the characters' names on "Superbad" were Seth and Evan. Close enough, right.
