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This submitted by Andrew:

An open pregnancy test? Uh oh, somebody.

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A deleted scene from Disney's "Aladdin."

If you're the type of guy who thinks there is a loophole in female psychology that will allow you to bang big-titted babes, you deserve to have your bank account pillaged.

And no, I didn't click to watch the video, although maybe I should've.

But wait, let's reconsider this ad. Maybe by "fuck her mind," they actually meant "listen to her and understand her hopes, fears and dreams to build a bond of trust." That could work. And by "fuck her pussy," they still meant "fuck her pussy."

Some Ponderings On That Picture

Since discovering that random photo of that sullen dude in Walgreen's last week, we here at EADJ have agonized over how it got there and its meaning in the universe. We broke into discussion groups, did some serious soul searching, and came up with a few ideas of why the hell that thing ended up there. Here are a few theories from some of America's top scientists:

"I think he's mad somebody threw water at him."
-Liam McCarthy, eight-grader named "America's Top Young Scientist" in the 2010 National Young Scientist Challenge

"In most likelihood, he is a young man who works at Walgreen's who has been promoted by default to a position of management because of a vacancy. The young man's expression reveals his reluctance to take on the tremendous new responsibility of telling someone to open another register when the check-out line gets long. The absence of a name plate near the photo further reinforces my theory of his reluctance."
-Pamela Matson, dean of Stanford University's School of Earth Sciences

"To me, it looks like this is the photo of some guy who bounced too many checks at that Walgreen's, so they posted his photo in a prominent (however random) place to warn others not to do the same. Just look at how profusely he's perspiring."
-Yakir Aharonov, quantum physicist and recipient of the National Medal of Science

"This photo is actually a 'before' promo shot for a store display selling a posture corrective brace. It was misplaced in the store, and an employee mistakenly framed it."
-Venkatraman Ramakrishnan, structural biologist and Nobel laureate

The Pussiest Beer EVAR.

Me and Tom went to Virgil's on West 44th last week for some barbecue. I wanted to wash it down with some beer, so I aksed the waitress for a recommend.

Red flag #1: It was from Belgium. And named "Framboise."

Red flag #2: The waitress said, "That's my FAVORITE beer!"

Red flag #3: Then she said, "And I don't even DRINK beer!"

Pink flag #4: Raspberry was the first listed ingredient.

So the thing comes served with a champagne glass. The waitress shrugged and said that's how it comes. Then the thing is pink and tastes like My Pretty Pony's piss. Tom's laughing the whole time, and I chug the whole thing to at least squeeze a buzz out of it.

But the barbecue was good.