The Anthropomorphic Nightmare Continues

A few weeks ago, we spotted a tooth that had teeth. Disturbing.

Today, in a Manhattan deli bathroom (don't ask) we spotted a soap dispenser holding hands with a drop of water and a hand. 

Did you catch that? A HAND that has HANDS.

WHAT THE FUCK FRANKIE I WANT TO GO HOME

The Target Ghetto Aisle.

If you've ever entered a Target, you may have noticed a bizarre section that offers merchandise for mere pennies. The problem is, 100% of the stuff on these shelves is unadulterated crap. I've dubbed this dubious section the Target Ghetto Aisle: it's cheap as ass, crowded as ass, and you can sometimes find meth hidden in places.

And the care that they put into arranging the merchandise! How do they keep such VALUES ORGANIZED LIKE THIS?!! HOW, JESUS?

Personally, I don't remember purchasing anything from these low-rent aisles. Well, maybe an emery board and a bedazzled Hello Kitty baton.

FUN FACT: Every year, over 3800 teens disappear when visiting the Target Ghetto Aisle and are never heard from again!

Next time you're at Target, take a minute to visit the Target Ghetto Aisle. You'll either catch some really great bargains or meningitis. And tell 'em EADJ sent ya!

Work Solicitor Email Inbox Fail Time!

As some of you may know, this writer works in the advertising industry at an agency called Toucan Cleric's Fun. And every day, I receive countless spam emails from photographers, illustrators and Chris Brown from Get Reehl. Here are three of the most notable recent inbox entries:


"National Champaign for the National Guard." That is some atrocious spelling, even if you were going for the word 'champagne.' But maybe spellcheck thought Dave Nagel was talking about Champaign, Illinois. Whatever.



Huh huh huh huh huh huh huh. Wick Beavers. Huh huh huh huh huh.


"Hey, David?"
"Yeah?"
"About this expense report. You bought some photography?"
"That's right. I purchased couple of photos for an ad. Is there a problem?"
"Yeah...it says you bought some images from 'Minorpix' with your credit card."
"Right, so?"
"Special Agent O'Grady here would like to ask you a few questions about that."

Let's Fill the EADJ Mail Sack With Boiling Water And Make Some Noodles!

Submitted by Andrew:

Ripped Off Tagline o' the Month

(pictured above, some very possible litigation)