Here Are Your Job Numbers For The Week of February 18

Hello hi this Carl from food truck CEO ask me to send email about you have to fill out time sheet for job to get money and need job number please do this today or no money for pay at end of day CEO say thank you I say thank you and no flat bread for gyros today sorry

Here job number

14004: Pretending to give a shit

95562: Explaining the difference between Charmander, Charmeleon and Charizard

36924: Putting that guy on Facebook IN HIS PLACE!

JB8723: Getting on up (get on up)

JB8724: Staying on the scene (like a sex machine)

JB8725: Taking 'em to the bridge

JB8726: Hitting me now

JB8727: Shaking your money maker

JB8728: Hitting it and quit

UAG

Barack Abomination

You might remember from previous entries that EADJ is curating a Hall of Anthropomorphic Horrors, such as a tooth with teeth, a hand with hands, and a foot with feet.

We found yet another possible addition to the collection from the Far East, a phone texting on a phone. Let me repeat that. A PHONE TEXTING ON A PHONE.

WHY CAN'T HE TEXT ON HIMSELF? IS THAT HIS CHILD HE'S TEXTING ON?! WHY DOES HE WEAR OLD TIMEY HOBO SHOES??!!!!

Let's Break The Twist Cap Off The EADJ Mail Sack!

A couple of recent entries have documented a tooth with teeth and a hand with (ball) hands. 

Andrew and Megan Gall have discovered and submitted what they believe is a third for this distinguished series: a drawing of Colonel Sanders feeding chicken to chickens:

 

Very horrifying. But before we posted this as an official third to the series, we ran this entry by the EADJ Anthropomorphism Judge Panel. What did they have to say about this entry?

Donatello Gru-Gru: "While I applaud the 'meta' quality of the piece, I just don't think that this can stand in the same category as the two other abominations. Good effort, though."

  Alamance Condidor: "I can't say enough good things about this entry. It's composed well, it's delicious looking, and I really enjoy sickly jade green. But I'm going to have to say 'no' to this being in the same style as a Tooth With Teeth or your Hand With (Ball) Hands. Sorry."

 S. Kelvin Turnless: "So many questions. Is he really feeding chicken to those oversized chickens? Is the Colonel actually oblivious to the angry giant roosters behind him, about to peck the soul out of his decrepit carcass? Who the fuck holds a chicken leg like that? Oh... the question about whether it should be with the tooth and the hand... no. Just, no."

Sorry, Andrew and Megan. Thank you for entering the art piece for consideration, but our judges have spoken, and as much as we would like to, we cannot allow "The Colonel Feeding Chicken To Chickens" to be included in future displays alongside "Tooth Brushing Its Teeth" and "Hand With (Ball) Hands." You now owe us $50 for processing fees.

The Anthropomorphic Nightmare Continues

A few weeks ago, we spotted a tooth that had teeth. Disturbing.

Today, in a Manhattan deli bathroom (don't ask) we spotted a soap dispenser holding hands with a drop of water and a hand. 

Did you catch that? A HAND that has HANDS.

WHAT THE FUCK FRANKIE I WANT TO GO HOME

Meanwhile, mere moments after the hydrogen bomb hit the Bosnian sewage treatment plant...