Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Netflix This Month

Due to contract negotiations, the following movies and TV shows will be removed from Netflix this week:

• Pus

• Zoey's Insufferable Playlist

• Seth MacFarlane's Animated Arcane References That Don't Know When To End

• The Deadliest Crotch

• Barack-ish

• Pretty Little Motherfuckers

Due to periodic contract negotiations, the following movies and TV shows will be added to Netflix this week:

• Bozark

• The Beastie Boys Live Documentary of 3rd Bass

• Stank Ass Hoe: The Musical

• But Wait, There's More! The Billy Mays Story

• Let's Glue Shit

• Antiques Road Hospice

The ProofrEADJER, October Edition

This one's a twofer:

 And this one from Tom Weingard:

"Hey look, Nissan has a new car- the Nissan Fronter."

To The Male Employee At The Place Where I Work Who's Too Lazy To Take The Elevator Down To The Lobby To Go Outside And Have Your Stupid Cigarette:

1) You're stinking up the men's bathroom with your cigarette.

2) You're a filthy asshole.

3) You're not fooling anybody.

||| The |||||| |||||||| Lobsterfest® At Red Lobster ||||| Until ||||| |||||||||| |||| ||||||||||||||

Lobsterfest has become less of a temporary promotion and more of a cultural phenomenon. People refuse to leave the restaurant grounds, often setting up camp in the grassy island in the parking lot and tanning the hides of deer that they've hunted on the highway. To not anger them any further, we have decided to announce all new ways for them to enjoy lobster at Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster. Here are the latest:



• We literally soak everyone in butter in a special tub at the entrance in advance. Then when they eat lobster at their table, they don't have to dip their meat into any pesky butter dishes. The butter soaking their clothes will also act as a constant reminder that they are welcome to come back anytime to enjoy lobster at Lobsterfest™ At Red Lobster. Which we hope the fuck works.

• Lobster bibs? No, we are talking lobster mumus! And wheelbarrows full of lobster! And a punchbowl full of macaroons! What diet, bitch? That's a totally valid way to enjoy lobster at Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster. DON'T JUDGE ME.

• Okay, bear with me now, but what if we *didn't* serve lobster? What if instead of lobster we served hummus and pita bread, with a large pan of delicious crudité made from bell peppers, carrot sticks, and broccoli? I know it sounds crazy, but goddamn, that would be tasty, cause Carla and I are really sick of eating lobster. Please, just this once can we enjoy something else for Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster?

• We boil our lobsters in basins shaped like your head, so it looks like your ideas are boiling over! All your friends will compliment you on your fertile imagination and girls will stop looking at you like you just raped their grandma. Now that there there is one heckuva way to enjoy lobster at Lobsterfest™ at Red Lobster!

• We name four of our lobsters Ringo, John, Paul, and George. We dress them in those colorful Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band uniforms and lower them slowly into boiling water, right when they start on "Lovely Rita" on the second side of the album, which for my money is the worst song on there, anyway. Is that really another way to enjoy lobster at Lobsterfest™ at Red Lobster? No.

• ¿Bien, el oso conmigo ahora, pero lo que si nosotros *hizo no* sirve langosta? ¿Qué si en vez de langosta nosotros servimos paté de garbanzos y pita pan, con una cacerola grande de crudité delicioso hizo de pimientos, de palos de zanahoria, y del brécol? Sé que suena loco, pero maldito, eso sería sabroso, la causa Carla y yo están realmente enfermos de comer langosta. ¿Por favor, podemos esta vez nada más nosotros disfrutamos de algo más para Lobsterfest® en Langosta Roja?

• How 'bout I get a two by four and whoop some serious ass up in this motherfucker. How 'bout that shit. Another way to enjoy lobster at Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster.

Umm, No.

A display spotted at Blockbuster Video(?):


Then this was disturbing:


Unless that's the only way you can get an erection, I wouldn't recommend putting a sinister anarchist killer played by a dead actor wherever "the magic happens."

I also like how feminine that bedroom in the photo looks. Like Aunt Judy decided to have the Joker watch over her restless legs syndrome.

Other terrible places to put a Joker standup:
• in the bathroom at a wayward school for girls
• on the front stoop at Mary Kate Olsen's apartment in Soho
• behind a CVS pharmacy counter
• any crime scene
• in the back seat of Paula Abdul's car
• Graceland
• with a loaded gun in a crowded club with a certain NFL star who got in trouble for doing that exact thing
• India
• in one of the cars at the Hershey's Great American Chocolate Tour ride
• in a waiting room at a cosmetic surgeon's office
• in a failing video store chain

You can't stop it, J'Net.