All Geek To Me

Spotted at the local comic store, some neato Star Wars Jedi Force figures.


On the back, however, I noticed a legal line:



"Products shown in fantasy situation." Well, obviously it is, because Vader was never at Docking Bay 94 in Mos Eisley when the Stormtroopers were trying to apprehend Han, Luke, Ben, the droids and Chewy when they had left the cantina. Also, by that time, Luke had already sold his X-34 landspeeder to the Vuvrian alien Wioslea to help pay Han and Chewy to take them to Alderaan. I mean, right, guys? Ahem.

The ProofrEADJer, June Edition

And two quotations at the local City Hall that weren't themselves misspelled but were attributed to misspelled people.

Meanwhile At Pathmark, Or Attack Of The Coffee Cups

"It's Obi Wan. He's holding me back!"

Found in a recent Village Voice: this ad for an acting school. Pretty reputable school, dropping names like Mamet and William H. Macy. But look closely...


What the frak? Sure, Jessica Alba and Skeet Ulrich are very attractive people, but if you're trying to sell yourself as a primo acting school, I think you could do better than the stars of "Blue Crush" and "Jericho." Like maybe a photo of a Resusci Annie and a traffic cone. Alba and Ulrich are terrible in everything they've ever done.

I do have to admit, though, that little printing shmutz on Skeet Ulrich's forehead does make him more intriguing.

Wait, did I say "Blue Crush" earlier? Sorry, that's the wrong title. I meant "who gives a shit."

Shining A New Light

The National Council of Booklight Manufacturers convened in Los Palmas this week to announce the introduce their long-awaited Dicklight.

Joel, of course, was on hand for the press conference, as well as model/actress/tits Katie "Jordan" Price, Vida Guerra, Keeley Hazell, and Tera Patrick. Joel demonstrated how the Dicklight easily clips on a penis, making dick-eating in the dark easier and less awkward.

The Council opened the floor for questioning, and some snarky reporter from U.S. News Weekly News & World Report asked Joel if he might accidentally eat the light. Everyone had a good laugh, but then one of Tera Patrick's boobs fell out, and the whole room got awkward.

(pictured above, an intolerable ad directed at intolerable women)