"Do Not Take Life Too Seriously. You Will Never Get Out of It Pathmark."

UAG

10 Things That InfoWars Have Blamed On The Deep State

1. When packaging tape gets stuck to the spool and you can't find the end

2. Restocking fees

3. Why Mike Epps isn't a bigger star

4. GarageBand crashing

5. The price of fireworks

6. CBS's "Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist" getting canceled

7. Unattractive barn jacket colors

8. The utter predictability of Hallmark movies

9. Bad pesto

10. The weird way motivational speaker Tony Robbin's voice sounds a lot like KRS-One's

Spotted on Route 22 In Union, NJ

Here's a truck for a company called "Poppy LLC," featuring a gangsta kid with his baggy pants hung low, inspiring confidence everywhere.

At closer inspection, it turns out "POPPY" stands for "Paycheck Owed Phone Poppy You." What.

For one thing, you can't have the name of the acronym IN the acronym. And what the bing bong shit does "Paycheck Owed Phone Poppy You" mean?

THIS IS THE WORST CAMOUFLAGE FOR A SECRET GOVERNMENT OPERATION EVER.

***Update: I turned on the ol' Google machine and searched for "Poppy LLC." The first result didn't seem like the same company, but the fifth result scarily showed that I wasn't far off:

Poppy Llc is an acitve (sic) carrier operating under United States Department of Transportation (USDOT) Number 2505095. Carrier is licensed to carry hazmat rated materials from the general freight, cargo categories.

HOLY SHIT THAT TRUCK DROVE RIGHT BY ME I'M GOING TO DIE

Yet Another Candidate Falls Short

Earlier today, another submission was brought to our attention in the hope that it could be included in the vaunted "Blackberry Exhibit." Unfortunately, it is just another failed attempt to piggyback on the artistic glory of a modern masterpiece.

Here's a breakdown of the submission– who we've dubbed "Trevor"– and why it ultimately did not qualify:

1) Trevor is indeed on a handheld device, thus satisfying the first requirement.

2) Upon closer inspection, however, it does appear that Trevor's facial expression is not the standard "sturgeon face" but instead small pursed "duck lips."

3) Although thematically aligned with the subject matter and despite its obvious addition to demographic diversity, Trevor is the latest in a long string of rejections. The celebrated octych remains.

"The Blackberry Face: A Season Of Delights" will be on display soon at the main pavilion in Norway's Lillehammer Art Museum starting July 15. Admission for members is 25 krone, general public 60 krone. Children under 10 are not permitted to come within 30 meters of the art piece as it is priceless. Armed guards will tranquilize any violators on sight.

:C