New EADJ Segment: DoorDash Photography Critique!

This new segment will offer a balanced critique of Doordash (and sometimes Amazon) delivery photography, examining the composition, lighting and overall aesthetic beauty of their shots. Three factors that will be at the center of each critique are intent, skill, and consistency. Let's begin:

"Dunkin Donuts" by Miguel from DoorDash

It's pretty apparent that Miguel has a good eye for composition. He clearly understands the Rule of 3s, allowing the neatly stacked Dunkin bag to take up a good third of the horizontal space. And whether by luck or design, Miguel has allowed the dappled light of sunrise through the tree leaves to enhance the dimensionality of the bag, casting a stark shadow against the wall that echoes the shape of the mailbox. Exquisite!

A random detail: The initials "WCM" appear to be spelt in the leaf shadows at the bottom. A mystery!

Overall grade: A-

Although Miguel didn't incorporate the theme of donuts in his photo, the overall effect is truly artistic and worthy of prominent wall space in the DoorDash Gallery in Washington, DC.

UAG

But What If It Isn't A Harmonica?

The brochure for a performance by American Idol's Taylor Hicks in South Orange obviously shows him jamming out on a harmonica. 

But what if that weren't true? What else would that be a photo of? EADJ explores the possibilities:

Scenario 1: Taylor Hicks in the middle of a power ballad gets a massive toothache and cannot finish the part about hardening his heart and swallowing his tears.

Scenario 2: Midsong, Taylor Hicks gets a part of the microphone in his mouth and discovers that it's absolutely DELICIOUS!!!!! He proceeds to devour the microphone and just marvels at how scrumptious every bite is.

Scenario 3: Goofing around in the studio, Taylor Hicks learns that blowing his nose sounds 100% exactly like Kenny G's Selmer Mark VI Soprano saxophone. At his next live performance, he belts out "Songbird" to the lukewarm delight of the crowd.

Scenario 4: People have told Taylor Hicks that he looks exactly like George Clooney, but only if HE COVERS HIS MOUTH. Taylor notices some hot honeys in the front row of his next concert and tries his best to impress him with his George Clooney looks, minus the mouth.

Scenario 5: Taylor Hicks only THINKS he has a harmonica, but it's actually one of those Take 5 candy bars. You see, Taylor has suffered some sort of mild brain aneurysm and is now convinced that Take 5 bars are harmonicas. Play us some more blues, brain damaged Taylor Hicks!

Pathmark? Is It Me You're Looking For?

And I swear I didn't stage this one:

EADJ Announces Nifty iPhone Cases!

EADJ is proud to announce the release of their own line of iPhone case for the iPhone 4, 4S, 5, 5C, and 5S. Made of lightweight, scratch-resistant polymers, these stylish cases make a statement while protecting your smart phone. Pick from 8 designs!

Click here to order now.

The Amazing "Lazaretto" Ultra LP

On June 6, Jack White & Third Man Records unveiled the "Lazaretto" ULTRA LP, which is a vinyl record with a ton of amazing innovations:

• 180 gram vinyl
• 2 vinyl-only hidden tracks hidden beneath the center labels
• 1 hidden track plays at 78 RPM, one plays at 45 RPM, making this a 3-speed record
• Side A plays from the outside in
• Dual-groove technology: plays an electric or acoustic intro for “Just One Drink” depending on where needle is dropped. The grooves meet for the body of the song.
• Matte finish on Side B, giving the appearance of an un-played 78 RPM record
• Both sides end with locked grooves
• Vinyl pressed in seldom-used "flat-edged" format
• Dead wax area on Side A contains a hand-etched hologram by Tristan Duke of Infinity Light Science, the first of its kind on a vinyl record
• Absolutely zero compression used during recording, mixing and mastering
• Different running order from the CD/digital version
• LP utilizes some mixes different from those used on CD and digital version

Video here:


And a mere 5 days after the release, even more secrets of the "Lazaretto" ULTRA LP have been discovered/announced:

• Listeners have reported that playing the track "Temporary Ground" makes all dogs who hear it ejaculate
• The record has "anti-scratch" technology, meaning that any DJ who tries to scratch it on their turntable breaks out in hives and terrorizing visions
• Record sleeve doubles as a taco shell
• Cover artwork is printed with special narcotic ink that can be distilled and shot directly into one's veins
• A separate LP can be purchased featuring the drum track recorded by Meg White and is surprisingly more listenable
• Can be hung from the ceiling as a beautiful but ineffective dreamcatcher
• Is 4" wider than a regular LP, forcing you to buy a new bookcase, goddammit all
• Actual pieces of wreckage from the RMS Lusitania are embedded inside each vinyl record. Collect all 400,000 copies of "Lazaretto" to rebuild the legendary ship yourself!
• Playing the album 100 times will summon Jack White to your house, where he'll brag and say douchey things about other musicians before doing a live set in your living room, caterwauling and pretending that he invented the blues.