Advertising Copywriters Refuse To Say Goodbye To Headlines That Begin With "Say Goodbye To..."

Goodbye! Goodbye! Bye bye! Goodbye! Goodbye! 

UAG

An Imagined Conversation

"I still think there's somebody prowling in our yard, honey. You did call the police, right?"

"The police? No."

"Why not?! I thought you said you called the authorities."

"No, I said I called El Toro-Tees. They're on their way with collectible ceramic plates, NYPD souvenir T-shirts and small statues of the Freedom Tower."

"Oh thank Jesus!"

If I had a dick for every nickel Joel ate.

Joel found a whole new avenue, or should we say vein, for eating dick.

Whilst on his way to the local modern art museum for a meet-and-greet with the curators for his upcoming show "EATING DICK: A Retrospective," Joel took a wrong turn and happened upon some gang bangers. They normally would have jacked Joel's Subaru Outback but noticed the EATDIK license plate and asked him to show his skillz.

A few dicks eaten and a lively conversation about "Wicked Wicked Games" later, Joel went on his way with a whole new set of contacts.

Boo Boo, Raj-X, and Goochie Shug are sure to see their new friend very soon! Congrats, Joel!

(pictured above, some of the awesome swag from the Rozerem shoot that Emily had to wrest away from looters)