More Memorable Lines From Movies I Haven't Seen

"Can't you see? I love you and want to marry you... Jen. Or is it Julie?"

"I TOLD YOU I was telling the truth? See the evidence? That PROVES it!"

"I claim all of Park Slope, Williamsburg and Greenpoint. You can have Bushwick. Eww."

"How was it?" "Not great."

"Doug, I see why you moved up here. No yard work!"

"Jingle THIS."

"Honey, we should really invest in a Nest doorbell."

(translated from sea beast) "Have you tried this? It's delicious!"

The EADJ Fiverr Experiment: A Major Setback

Hey, remember yesterday when we were so excited for someone to guest write a blog entry for us? Well, it's already a bust.

"Report me"?! For what? So not only does this person back out of the deal, she feels like she needs to report me for some reason. Mind you, there was nothing about my original communication that warranted any reporting. My only guess is that she was somehow offended by the name of the blog. Maybe she has a boyfriend or husband named Joel. Maybe she can't handle the challenge of writing an Ugly Andrew Gall from scratch. 

Shoot. Thanks for nothing.

This Week's Least Used Twitter Hashtags

These hashtags are all crap. So take all you want and spread through social media.

#larryfine

#teamDiddy

#logflumeblowjob

#juggaloadvice

#meatgrinderselfies

#straddlingtheHamburglar

#DonaldTrumpnewswithdrawal

#mentionsofGuyFieriintheKoran

#lookslikei'vegotmandolinfeetagain

#theHotTrendssectionofTimeMagazine

#rewatchingthatShiningremakefrom1997

#ohgodyespleaseanothercoverofAdele'sHello

#arguingHelveticavsAriallikeitfuckingmatters

My new favorite supermarket.

To those of you not from New York (and how I pity you if you aren't!), there is a chain of supermarkets called Pathmark which, I gotta tell you, is the biggity BOMB, y'all.


Just one glance at the outside gives passers-by a hint of the delightful selections they vend within. Let's look inside! And while we're in there, let's play "What Doesn't Belong In This Picture?"

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(Answers will be revealed next week. The highest scorer wins a jar-full of googly eyes and a signed copy of The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne)