The NEWEST Perks of an AMC Stubs Membership

If you've been thinking of joining AMC's Stubs Rewards program, you've picked the perfect time, because AMC Theatres have announced a whole slew of new benefits for new members. Here are some of them:

• Free pinto bean topping with every popcorn purchase

• Free snazzy AMC vest so you can fool people into thinking you work here.

• If one of your limbs has recently been amputated, you can show your stub instead of your Stubs card.

• Midnight screening of the 1992 film "Glengarry Glen Ross" (NO AUDIO)

• If requested, an usher will sit next to you and cover your ears whenever an objectionable word is said.

• We can get you Maria Menounos's home phone number if you ask nicely.

UAG

More Awful But Available Porn Names

Him

NOAH COLLUSION

Steele Dossier

Pépé Tape

Khlav Kalash

Ted Talk

Pope Benedick LXIX

Mike Aswell Hump (HUMP!)

Jack Bothofusov

Former Boom Mike Operator

Her

Kay Sera Sera
Facebook Algorithm
Michonne Accomplished
🤮🦕📎
Fannie Pack
Sigourney Beaver
Waxine Gibbous-Moon
Tyra Misu

Some More Unused Stage Names For Your Budding Porn Career

So you're young, untalented, and just moved to the Valley. Welcome to the porn industry! So, to get this party started right, you're going to have to have a handle to scroll on the film's credits that no one ever watches. Here are some unused pornstar names that you can help yourself to:

Him

Yoshinoya Balls

Potatoes O’Brien

Voldebutt

Keith Nutsweat

Sammi Conductor

Trey Upright

Edadick Joel

Her

Edda Mammay

Daraprim

Potatoes O’Brien

Asper Creme

The Atlantic Monthly

Jackie Ho Asses

Anna Phylactic Shock

Some More Unused, Terrible Porn Names

If you're considering entering the lucrative world of pornography to be an actor or actress, you will need the following: a camera, and a porn name. Whilst we cannot give you a camera, we can provide you a list of available (but fucking terrible) porn aliases you could use if you so chose to enter the industry. Huh huh huh huh, we just said "enter."


HER:

Urethra Franklin (thanks, Emily Kane!)

Ureter Moreno

Sarah Draftinhere

Tits Romney

Pisstina Applegape

Humpkin Spice Twattay

Anna Tomicallycorrect

Phyllis Holerighthere

Alluva Cox

Lilly Hammered

Betty Cumsfirst

HIM:

Junk Dilla

Tucker Boner

Jack Kinghoff Yurdad

Takina Dumpf

Insurance Claude

Jean-Michele Scrota

Pvt. Partz

Phil Anderer

Otto Correct

Bruce D. Ego

Reck Tal

Darius Fucker

More Terrible Porn Names

Not long ago, we made a list of available (but not very good) porn stage names for people interested in getting into "the biz." Here now are more names that weren't even good enough to be included in that previous list:


HER:

Barb Akoabeef
Felony Charges
Ana L. Bedes
Maby Anothertime
Bess Knot Gudunov
Jenny Tals
Isis Hamas Al Qaeda
Betty Wontstaythenight
Alma Sparadise
Chumba Wumba

HIM:

Twink Martindale
Thomas The Stank Engine
Flip Floponissues
Jerry Mander
Newt Erred
Cumcast
Cockulus Rift
John Boehner
Sal Debain

Some Terrible Porn Names

Feel free to use any of the following unclaimed porn names in case you're getting into "the biz." But please keep in mind, these are terrible names:


HER:

H. Ivy
Ana Filactic
Tara Dactyl
Eleanor Roosevelt
Java Script
Tess Tease
Amber Alert
Roe Tissery
Lexxxxi Prude
Winnie the Pube
Preg Nancy
Exxel Spreadsheet
Roomba

HIM:

Stefan Ready
Jim Membership
Rex Yourcredit
Honoré De Ballsack
Ari U. Inyet
Father Donald O' Reilly
Jack Squat
Corey Ander
Jiminy Rickets
Iowa Caucus

Porn Stars and Stage Directions

You'd think that getting your right from your left would be actually critical for their job.


PornstarsStageDirections by Estoye

EADJ Changes The Ending To a Porno, Part II

Watch the previous entry here.

New Video Segment: EADJ Changes the Ending To a Porno