The NEWEST Perks of an AMC Stubs Membership

If you've been thinking of joining AMC's Stubs Rewards program, you've picked the perfect time, because AMC Theatres have announced a whole slew of new benefits for new members. Here are some of them:

• Free pinto bean topping with every popcorn purchase

• Free snazzy AMC vest so you can fool people into thinking you work here.

• If one of your limbs has recently been amputated, you can show your stub instead of your Stubs card.

• Midnight screening of the 1992 film "Glengarry Glen Ross" (NO AUDIO)

• If requested, an usher will sit next to you and cover your ears whenever an objectionable word is said.

• We can get you Maria Menounos's home phone number if you ask nicely.

Let's Tighten Both Ends of the EADJ Mail Sack!

 Submitted by Andrew Gall:

"My friend ANDY WESTBROCK used a photo of ugly Andrew Gall in all agency presentation announcing that I won the Oscar pool"

In appreciation of this excellent Photoshop job, EADJ proudly announces that ANDY WESTBROCK has been awarded the second-ever Onyx Mollusk Award. His name is now proudly displayed at the bottom of this page.

Congratulations, ANDY WESTBROCK!