EADJ Checks In On You

No, this isn't a special occasion or holiday. There's no EADJ anniversary or even important announcement. We're just checking on you, making sure everything's all right on your end.

Are you good? Do you need anything? You seem a little quiet lately. Maybe you've just been busy with work or school or your marriage. Just wanted to let you know that we've noticed and we're over here in case you ever need us. No pressure.

You short on money? We can spot you a little. Not a lot, but whatever you need till the end of the month.

That's it. You keep doing you, and we'll check in on you later. Your hair looks great, by the way.

The ProofrEADJer: March Edition

Some More Mall Kiosks And What Their Attendants Are Probably Thinking

Lou at the Flying Zone kiosk in the Valley Fair Mall in West Valley City, UT

• All this radiation is probably bad for my health

• Is that baby trying to shoplift a drone?

• I wonder if that clerk in Qdoba fucks like a beast

Kara at the Flying Zone kiosk in the Valley Fair Mall in West Valley City, UT

• These shoes are pretty good, but my dogs are still barking

• I wonder if this counts as flight time for pilots

• That last episode of Westworld didn't make any sense

Kara at the T-Mobile kiosk in the Kittery Outlet Mall in Kittery, ME

• I bet I could karate chop this table in half in one try

• That guy has a nice ass

• How do I tell my brother about the dent in the PT Cruiser?

Roger at the Straight Ahead kiosk in the Cascade Mall in Burlington, WA

• This job is crimping my style, ha ha

• How do we know that Thanos killed only half of humanity? Could he be lying?

• Lobster rolls are pretty gross when you think about it

Douglas at the Premier Cosmetics kiosk in the Potomac Mills Mall in Woodbridge, VA

• All this stuff is so worthless, I bet I could go to a third matinee today and people still wouldn't swipe anything

• That punching game at the carnival is totally rigged. I'm way stronger than that.

• I bet I could go home for the night and nobody would swipe anything from the kiosk

Tanya at the Hickory Farms kiosk in the North Shore Square Mall in Slidell, LA

• Even though it's well-ventilated, I go home reeking of sausage like a punk

• Nobody buys this shit in the summer. It's all gross when it's hot.

• I bet some frosted tips would look pretty sweet on me

More Awful But Available Porn Names

Him

NOAH COLLUSION

Steele Dossier

Pépé Tape

Khlav Kalash

Ted Talk

Pope Benedick LXIX

Mike Aswell Hump (HUMP!)

Jack Bothofusov

Former Boom Mike Operator

Her

Kay Sera Sera
Facebook Algorithm
Michonne Accomplished
🤮🦕📎
Fannie Pack
Sigourney Beaver
Waxine Gibbous-Moon
Tyra Misu