The Urban Air Adventure Park Sock Policy is Bullshit

Spotted at Urban Air Adventure Park:

"All participants must jump in re-usable Urban Air Socks." So admission is dependent on the SALE of socks that you can ONLY get there.

Nobody is asking the real questions here, like if the International Association of Trampoline Parks has a financial stake in making Urban Air socks mandatory and only for sale at Urban Air. ISN’T THIS A CONFLICT OF INTEREST, IATP?

The Newest Guests To Join VidCon 2025

VidCon is the Internet's biggest live gathering of influencers, content creators and podcasters. Luminaries such as Helga the Doll Makeover Artist and Xylophone Tits have graced the stage in previous years. Here are the latest scheduled appearances and features:

• Class Action Lawsuit for the 2001 Cinnamon Challenge

• Pete Za moderates the manosphere pity party

• Jubilee: conservative podcaster Travis McDunnitt against 14 crocodiles who voted liberal last election

• Ragebaiter Mallory Suns heckles people in line to get in

• Calculate your Online Presence Quotient / Which Disney Princess Goth Mech Dragon Are You?

Recycling Bin Was Shocked.

Recycling Bin was shocked.

Toolboxes In a Truck couldn't believe it.

Electrical Box did its best Bubble Bobble impression.

Box Behind Another Recycling Bin was lost in thought.

And Port-o-John was too stoned to pay attention.

UAG

Spotted At Dollar General, Part 2

Yesterday we featured some balloons at Dollar General that offered the oh-so-crazy colors white and burgundy. BURGUNDY.

We gave it a think, and here are some possible occasions we came up with to use BURGUNDY balloons:

• Ron BURGUNDY'S birthday party

• A wine tasting that's classy but not that classy

• Retirement party for a co-worker that none of you really liked

• A CONGRATS ON YOUR UNSIGHTLY BRUISE party

• Balloon arch for a library orgy

• Intervention

 

Spotted at Dollar General

Look at the fun, festive colors that Funsational Balloons offers: white and burgundy.

Burgundy.

BURGUNDY.

Highlights From This Year's Consumer Electronics Show

CES came and went this year, and some surprising new technological advances were introduced. Here are the latest new personal tech announcements:

• A shower radio that won't judge you for playing music you enjoyed in high school

• New Cuisinart-brand paper shredder that also makes delicious julienne potatoes 

• A portable printer that will generate a perfect counterfeit pass for next year's CES

• A document scanner that fits in your pocket. But who uses printed documents anymore?

• A fax machine that prints birthday cakes. No, don't walk away... watch how this works! Where are you going?

• A special mirror to attach to your smartphone so that you can make eye contact with your date