The Urban Air Adventure Park Sock Policy is Bullshit

Spotted at Urban Air Adventure Park:

"All participants must jump in re-usable Urban Air Socks." So admission is dependent on the SALE of socks that you can ONLY get there.

Nobody is asking the real questions here, like if the International Association of Trampoline Parks has a financial stake in making Urban Air socks mandatory and only for sale at Urban Air. ISN’T THIS A CONFLICT OF INTEREST, IATP?

Breaking: Some New Added Perks of an AMC Stubs Rewards Membership

Holy fuck, just when you thought being an AMC Stubs Rewards Member couldn't get any more tits, shit like this happens and your dick just gets even harder. Here are more perks to being a member, if you aren't already:

• Free escort to your car (bad neighborhoods only)

• Complimentary visor for when the screen is just too darn bright

• Samples at the concession stand of Kurt's latest edibles, dude

• Free swirly in the bathroom for nerds

• Free 8-piece sectional couch of your choosing (NO DELIVERIES)

• This here bottle of scotch/cough medicine

• Free handjob by either Tiffany (works Tuesdays) or Hank (works Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays)

• We'll let you make out with any of our cardboard standees for 5 minutes, no judgements

• Stubs members can kick anyone out of the handicapped seating area, including handicapped people

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of June 19

Twitter has a hashtag problem. People are using so many bullshit hashtags that it's created a new subset of totally unusable bullshit hashtags. Here are a few of those, which you're welcome to use in your own tweets that I don't follow:

#WD-40fajitas

#shitmydadshits

#jehovahswitnesserotica

#jabbathehuttweightloss

#blingingoutmyfordfestiva

#twoandahalfmennostalgia

#ashleymadisonjokearchives

#stopusingunusablehashtags

#givingmynotarypublicahandjob

#australopithecusafarensisarmpits

#takinghertopfchangstotakethingstothenextlevel

The ProofrEADJer, June (Mostly Food) Edition