The Urban Air Adventure Park Sock Policy is Bullshit

Spotted at Urban Air Adventure Park:

"All participants must jump in re-usable Urban Air Socks." So admission is dependent on the SALE of socks that you can ONLY get there.

Nobody is asking the real questions here, like if the International Association of Trampoline Parks has a financial stake in making Urban Air socks mandatory and only for sale at Urban Air. ISN’T THIS A CONFLICT OF INTEREST, IATP?

A Disturbed Holiday Offer

Spotted on Facebook: It's hard to look badass when you've got animated clipart snowflakes falling all over your band. SNOW-AH-AH-AH-AH!!!

Also, since when did the lead singer start looking like Phil Collins?

Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

(Click to enlarge)

"Are You Sitting Down For This?"

This morning, our jitney driver got on the PA and made an announcement about an item he found in a bag that was left on the jitney.

Here now is him trying to delicately announce that someone misplaced their dildo:

Click to play video

I like how he assumes it was a woman who left it. Like a guy can't stick one in his ass. Naive!

***UPDATE***

So, the wife flatly stated that it probably was NOT a vibrator. The jitney driver described it as "something that a woman wouldn't want a man to see unless they were in a relationship," and also said "This is a bus. Not a bathroom."

So the options for that lost item are now:

a) a dildo

b) a used tampon

c) a used sanitary napkin

d) two tickets to the studio audience of Dr. Oz

What do you think it was, readers? Tell us!

A Special EADJ Mail Sack Slash Link-O-Rama Slash Vince's Uncle Roberto Entry

Submitted by Chris Stoltz via email, a link and a suggestion:

Absolutely Hilarious JCPenney Catalogue from 1977 (You HAVE to read!)

"I think this calls for fashion tips by Vince's Uncle Roberto."




And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto With Fashion Tips From 1977



The fashion of leisure suits became popular in the 70's due to the rise of inexpensive materials and a culture that had come to hate formality. The leisure suit rose in popularity with its promise to bring a stylish suit that could be used in formal business, but was comfortable and trendy enough for everyday wear.

Back in 1977, I was only 17 at the time, just holding down a job stacking boxes at the local IGA. So I had no money for nice clothes like this. But now that I've made a little money driving cars, all this great stuff can't be bought anywhere except for on the eBay! Funny how things work out that way.

Eat 'em if you got 'em.

In an unprecedented NASCAR move, stock car racing driver Elliott Sadler announced that he would be displaying a decal with the phrase "Eat a Dick, Joel" on his front hood for FREE.

"I thought about it," said the Dodge-sponsored driver at a press conference at Madison International Speedway, "and I done think that Joel done do the dang dick-eating real good now yeehaw."

Sadler proceeded to pinch some chaw into his lower lip and hate blacks.

This announcement sent shockwaves through the racing community, a lot like how the death of Tianna sent shockwaves through the Angora rabbit community. Some detractors think that the free "sponsorship" will lead other drivers to put stickers with meaningless phrases on their cars, making them look gaudy and ridiculous.

"Dang ding dang dang whoohaw ***BURP***" said longtime racing fan Earl Haggerty before fucking his sister and seceding from the Union.

Joel could not be reached for comment during the press conference, for the dicks of drivers Matt Kenseth, JJ Yeley, Paul Menard, Greg Biffle, Sterling Marlin, Tony Stewart, Ken Schrader, Dave Blaney, Jamie McMurray, Kevin Harvick, Casey Mears, David Gilliland, David Stremme, Bobby Labonte, Juan Montoya, and Reed Sorenson were all being eaten by him.

***CORRECTION*** The car pictured above does not, in fact, belong to Elliott Sadler but to DeWalt-sponsored driver Matt Kenseth. Like anyone gives a shit.