The Urban Air Adventure Park Sock Policy is Bullshit

Spotted at Urban Air Adventure Park:

"All participants must jump in re-usable Urban Air Socks." So admission is dependent on the SALE of socks that you can ONLY get there.

Nobody is asking the real questions here, like if the International Association of Trampoline Parks has a financial stake in making Urban Air socks mandatory and only for sale at Urban Air. ISN’T THIS A CONFLICT OF INTEREST, IATP?

Task Chair Is Pleased

TASK CHAIR IS PLEASED TO BE FEATURED ON THE BLOG AGAIN AFTER ALMOST THREE YEARS. WHAT TOOK SO LONG.

OH LOOK. A DUTIFUL PEASANT HAS BOUGHT ME AND IN HIS HASTE TO START ON HIS TASKS, ONLY TOOK OUT MY WHEELS BUT REALIZED HE NEEDS ALL OF MY PARTS TO ACHIEVE HIS TASK DREAMS.

THERE YOU GO, PEASANT. DRAG THE REST OF ME AS YOU MARCH TO PRODUCTIVE GLORY. YOUR FIRST TASK IS TO ASSEMBLE TASK CHAIR. THEN THE REST COMES EASY. MAYBE SHOPPING FOR A NEW OUTFIT WILL BE TASK 2.

The Dick You Eat May Be Your Own

As the holiday break approaches, it's important to remember that it's better to eat a dick than it is to have your dick eaten. Or as the Golden rule puts it, "Eat others' dicks as they would have eaten unto yourses."

Today was a banner day in EADJ / NBA relations. Joel managed to eat the dicks of both the Nuggets and the Knicks, thereby ending a violent brawl between them. Nate Robinson claimed to have his balls touched also, but Joel insisted he didn't play any favorites. The endless replays of the dick-eating have been beamed into every living room in the country, including the one of Robinson's grandmother, who was not happy to see her grandson having his dick eaten on the Madison Square Garden floor with the Nuggets' J.R. Smith. Joel's grandmother, however, was drunk.

(pictured above, Ranee Wu models a new bestseller at Urban Outfitters, designed by John Reid)