Let's Find New Ways To Criticize the EADJ Mail Sack!

Below, a submission by Joel himself that explodes the myth that he only likes Asian girls.


"Don't remember anymore why I was looking for this once in order to send to you, but I stumbled upon it today."

A QUIET MOMENT FOR REFLECTION!!!!!!!

"Expect nothing and accept everything and you will never be disappointed."

-Lawrence Overmire


The day is almost upon us. It's almost tangible. Just within reach of triumph. Or disappointment. Like, what if Jerald doesn't show? What if all our hopes and dreams are shattered in the last-minute cancellation? What if Loreley gets condemned by the Health Department the day before? So much potential for disaster.

But we mustn't let the endless possibilities for disappointment overshadow our hope, our singleminded, shining desire for happiness. Who knows what comes in the morrow? It is not for us to ask. It is only in our power to accept whatever does befall us and turn that into joy. That, my friends, is a bunch of bullshit I made up on the spot.

JERALD HERE WE COME!!!!!!!!HUZZAH!!!!!!

AND THE COUNTDOWN CONTINUES!!!

“When things mean a very great deal to you, exciting anticipation just isn't safe.”

-Dodie Smith

As we enter our sub-five days into the Jerald Lunch countdown, it's important to remember how long it's been since we first discovered 'the Man.' It was Thursday, January 10th that Tom Weingard first noticed a bizarre email from WAYN.com. Tom had mistakenly remembered his name as Jerald Williams, when in fact it was JERALD JOHNSON. And it is this very same Jerald Johnson who is going to have lunch with us at Loreley in Manhattan on Saturday at noon. My, how far we've come...

*** SUPER HELLAJERALD UPDATE ***

“A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes.”
-Mark Twain

The planets are lining up for the big EADJ Jerald meeting on Saturday. And with that, an additional variable has been entered in the equation: EADJ Ambassador John Reid has agreed to go with us to MEET JERALD!

What this will do to the delicate political balance of the conference is unknown. Stay tuned for the latest analysis from Wolf Blitzer, Anderson Cooper, and Darva Conger.

In related Jerald Lunch news, J'Net not-very-politely declined an invitation to join the group. She was overheard to say, "Whatever."

Let's Conjugate the EADJ Mail Sack Into Verb Tenses We'll Never Use!

Submitted by J'Net, an ad from a Brooklyn coupon circular.

"I thought it was funny that all the words they used– elegance, beauty, style– were totally what it was not. Plus, the toilet seat is up!"


Personally, I think it resembles a shower hollowed out of raw meat.

LET THE JERALD COUNTDOWN BEGIN!

It's really hard not to get excited about it, but EADJ's lunch with the one and only Jerald Johnson is THIS WEEK! Just 5 days until the greatest event in EADJ (hell, HUMAN) history.


Here at the EADJ offices we are all discussing the repercussions of the historic date. Some have even suggested that we start using a new system for dating our blog entries: BJJ and AJJ. Many writers and correspondents have called their families to tune in on that date to enjoy the photo, video, and written accounts that will be submitted. Our receptionist has even renamed her 7-year old son Jerald. Stay tuned for the latest in this fantastic, utterly exhilarating and historic event! I just came!

Let's Smoke the EADJ Mail Sack!

(submitted by Tom Weingard, via email)
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"I met a dude on the chairlift in aspen who’s from around where I’m from in philly and I gave him my email because he said his nephew was looking for ad agencies in nyc, who I have since helped. The dude went out there on a trip by himself which I thought was ballsy and I immediately thought ’gay’, but of course I don’t know. Then he sent me this recently after having a couple email passes...

Where do you work anyway. What do you do again?
Something in advertising right.

I am a Banker. I have a pretty good job. I cannot complain about money. I am overpaid really.

I travel an hour each day so that part is expensive with the gas.
I'm 42. I have a house. I bet you are under 30. Do you rent an apartment in NY? The funny thing is we had our ski stuff on the time I met you and all I remember is you were taller than me I think with dark hair. Not sure really.

I don't have lots of money or anything but I have the use of credit cards. I figure what am I saving my money for anyway.
Get out to Aspen again. What is it a money issue???

Well I will talk to you later.

*name*

Is this dude trying to hit on me?"

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What do YOU think, dear reader? Frankly, I can't think of anything straight that can come after "I met a dude on a chairlift."

Also, who the fuck writes down someone's email on a chairlift?