UAG

UAG

Ain't That a Bitch?

You pay for a nice, expensive pedicure just to get raptured right after.

 

An Imagined Conversation

"Can we park here?"

"I dunno. What day is it?"

"It's Friday."

"Hmmmm."

.....

"Hmmmm."

.....

"Hmmmm."

.....

"Hmmmm."

.....

"Hmmmm."

.....

"No."

Dog Park Missed Connections

The following Missed Connections were posted by dogs that visited the Bucks County Core Creek Dog Park in Langhorne, PA:

You: the black Pomeranian

Me: the dark brown Lab

Howdy, pardner! You seemed as frisky as a bucking bronco when your owner unhooked your leash! We should chase squirrels together and see what happens!

You: the Rottweiler

Me: the other Rottweiler

I know I could kick your ass.

You: the noble Yorkshire terrier

Me: the Irish setter with ants in his pants

Hey Yorky (I hope you don't mind me calling you that)! You seemed detached from all the running/barking action at the park. I think we could be chase-the-ball buddies! Whaddaya say, friend?

You: the wheezing bulldog

Me: the snorting pug

We both seem to be having breathing problems due to over-breeding. We should hang out, like go to a movie or play or something.

A Disturbing Future Without Humanity

If you're a longtime reader of this blog– and why wouldn't you be?– you are familiar with the past posts, musings, and bullshittery on the NJ Transit Commuter Survey. Spotted this morning on the train, the 2019 survey flyer is adorned yet again another generic still life instead a vibrant stock shot of fake commuters pretending to talk to each other.

Since 2013, NJ Transit Authority has seen fit to do away with the cheesy photo, perhaps thinking it put off commuters from filling out the advertised survey. I for one think this does nothing of the sort, that the stilted engagement of these actors amused me enough to engage in NJ Transit's boring paperwork. What, is a pie chart or a lousy shot of a pine cone going to get me all fired up to respond?

The truth is, anger towards service interruptions, canceled trains and poor infrastructure management would be what drives most people to fill out the survey. But rather than insult us with a half-assed stock photo of autumnal leaves, why not insult us with a poorly-staged stock shot of models whose conversation will always be just out of our comprehension? Think about it, NJ Transit.