UAG

Hey, Let's Check In With The EADJ Dashboard Buddies™!

It's been a minute since we caught up with our three dashboard pals, so let's see what they've been up to!

PENGUIN!

 Uh, is this a real segment? I don't remember this being one... This is actually a bad time. My cousin passed away and I'm trying to find a flight to his funeral at the end of the week... I'm sorry. This is just the worst time for me... *sobs*

COW!

...And that's when I found out that Cheryl's sister had left her husband. Right, I suspected she was going to leave her anyway after that very public fight they had at the McNeals's... Oh, I'm sorry. I'm in the middle of another blog entry right now. Check back later? Thanks.

HIPPO!

I'm not talking to you guys anymore. Since the last entry, my Instagram was flooded with troll comments saying I'm a stupid-ass for appearing on your shit-ass unfunny blog. This has ruined my social media presence. Goodbye.

Procedures and Treatments NOW Approved By Your Health Insurance!

Historically, the country's major healthcare insurance providers have been very restrictive of the types of treatments they'll pay for, from adult dental services to infertility treatments to long-term care for seniors.

But in a recent progressive move, the nation's major health insurance companies have all agreed to expand their coverage. Here is a short list of the medical services they will now pay for:

• Sprained wrist from writing checks to them

• the "vapors"

• offsite gynecological exams

• stumpism

• Kohl's Disease

• Affluenza

• Any leg or foot therapy from lobbying in Washington for any legislation to favor major healthcare providers

• The Alabama Shakes

• kink shame

Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Hulu This Month

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Here Are Your Job Numbers For The Week of February 18

Hello hi this Carl from food truck CEO ask me to send email about you have to fill out time sheet for job to get money and need job number please do this today or no money for pay at end of day CEO say thank you I say thank you and no flat bread for gyros today sorry

Here job number

14004: Pretending to give a shit

95562: Explaining the difference between Charmander, Charmeleon and Charizard

36924: Putting that guy on Facebook IN HIS PLACE!

JB8723: Getting on up (get on up)

JB8724: Staying on the scene (like a sex machine)

JB8725: Taking 'em to the bridge

JB8726: Hitting me now

JB8727: Shaking your money maker

JB8728: Hitting it and quit

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

The class wasn't ready for it when these two got on the desk and started fucking.

"smh" not "mml"

The outtakes for this shoot weren't awkward or embarrassing enough.

Everything about this cover irks me: the type, the fact that the wheels are turned, the open door, the guy smoking but there's nothing in his fingers. Grrrr.

It's not a double bass, but at least it's not a ukulele.

I don't know if that's another dog's leg, but if it is, that's fucking horrific and depressing. F

I hate trap music, Wale.

Hey, look. It's that "cash me outside" girl. Hard pass!

Didn't you hear? Every mixtape and album from Lil Wayne from now on will use a childhood photograph of him.

Fun fact: Super Mario Land is located in Brazil.

Part history lesson, part reddit.com/r/fuckmyshitup

I think I know exactly what this album sounds like.

Introduction to Photoshop: Lesson 1: Building Head Stacks on Shitty Mixtapes

Track List From The Broadway "The Bridges of Madison County" Musical

For those who haven't seen it yet, here is the list of songs to expect when watching "The Bridges of Madison County" on Broadway, playing until sometime next month. Or sooner.

1) "That's Not Clint Eastwood"

2) "Whiny Hausfrau"

3) "Soooooo Bored With My Marriage"

4) "A Nice Drive (Through Changing Leaves)"

5) "(So Am I Supposed To Pretend) This is Romantic?"

6) "Balls Deep"

7) "Once Again We Meet Again"

8) "Bali Ha'i"

9) "He Don't Love You (The Way I Love You), Bitch"

10) "Tagging That Ass Under Bridge Support Beams"

11) "Penis"

12) "A Toast To Us"

13) "Autumnal Booty / Bumping Uglies Under The Moon"

14) "Balls Deep (Reprise)"

15) "What The Hell Are You Doing With My Wife In This Stupid Bridge?"

16) "Bridge Duel: Part One"

17) "No Don't Francis"

18) "Bridge Duel: Part Two"

19) "Another Brick In The Wall: Part Two"

20) "Wait, I Just Noticed That's Not Meryl Streep"

21) "Finale / Packin' My Summer Dresses"

Who Farted? Special Soon-To-Be Cancelled Show With Confusing Title Edition

Okay, let's get down to business. Lots to see here. Finally, a "Who Farted?" with some actual setting, instead of seamless colored backgrounds. Look at that awesome Golden Gate Bridge, and better yet, look at that huge yellowy cloud of ass that was dropped right on the Bay! So let's go left to right here:


Poor man's Alfre Woodard obviously did NOT fart. Her sense of disgust and outrage is almost all up in your face. Dial it down, woman, I'm just asking!


Watered down Leah Remini (look it up) brings nothing to the table. A casual viewer would suggest that she's in the back because she's hiding something. Stupid amateur!


So either someone simply photoshopped Kirsten Dunst's head onto the real actress here, or they're wearing an officially-licensed Spider-Man 3 mask available at Halloween Blowout at your local strip mall. I don't think she farted. Although I do imagine Kirsten Dunst's farts to smell pretty rank.


This was an easy one. Front and center. Not only does she look guilty, she has her ass shooting through the crime tape! The posterior version of the smoking gun. Literally. Nice badge placement too, lady.

Overall Who Farted Factor: 8 out of 10. It's a wonderful composition, with just a few points off for obviousness.