I threw 5 bucks at this Fiverr writer
cjerabek who promised to write a blog entry "from a Colorado cabin". And just this morning she sent her completed entry. Here it is in its entirety:
I live in a small mountain village in Colorado, just a hop, skip, and a jump from Telluride.
If you are thinking about moving to a small town, here are some things to consider beforehand:
You know you live in a small town when people at the post office know your business before you do. If you forget how you voted or what you did at the party last week, just ask...they’ll tell you. Heck, they’ve already told half the town anyway.
When your community has a population of less than 500 people, like mine does, you’ll learn a lot about the word “the”. You have “the Post Master”, “the grocery store manager”, “the black guy”, and “the thug”. There are places to go too, like “the diner”, “the store”, and “the gas station”. The word “the” drives home the point that a small town is lucky just to have one of anything.
At the vet, you are known by your pet such as “the guy with the German Shephard” or “the crazy lady with the cats”. At the Post Office, they know you by your post office box number. By the way, in small rural towns, there is no mail delivery so everyone has a mail box at the Post Office.
In a small town, the Post Office is like the watercooler at the office. That’s where you find out who died, who’s sleeping with who, and everything else you never wanted to know. Since there’s nothing else to do, you listen to all the town gossip and add to it as well.
There’s nothing much to do in a small town except cruise up and down the one mile of Main Street. Going out on the town takes a total of nine minutes.
You’ve probably heard small town jokes like “This place is so small, you have to go out of town to change your mind.” Or, “This town is so small, the city limits signs are both on the same posts”. The problem with small town jokes, though, is that...they are all true!
If you are thinking about moving to a small town, you might want to think twice. But, if you don’t mind the phone book being just one page or McDonald’s having just one arch, a small town might be just the place for you.
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And that's it. Five bucks for what looks like a boilerplate entry about living in a small town. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. It's not like she would've written about the new Spider-Man Playstation 4 game from a cabin. Or about dicks or Joel eating dicks. Okay, fine. Delivered exactly as advertised.
Bye bye, five dollars!
